Lay off, will you?!

"why don't you just get out of my head, for goodness sake! i'm suffering here! can't you just let me be? why is it that when i think of the situation, i always end up on the short end of the rope?!

"what's the big deal, anyway?! alright, alright, i do admit i'm a loser..you don't have to rub it in my face, for crying out loud! how can i even concentrate on anything if you keep popping up out of the blue?! sheeeeshh!

yeah, i know, i know..i have to let go of it..but how can i do it if you keep reminding me of the times when i made a fool out of myself? i'm aware that i had high hopes..and i did expect something..but it really does feel now that i was hoping for something that could not be.. dreaming for a reality that won't exist..

okay okay..i did say and agree that i would let the situation be..that if something came up, i'd try to do something to fix it..but everytime i do, i just end up getting squished afterwards! i feel like a jerk everytime i settle matters like this..i'm the one forgotten and neglected..

well, what can a guy like me do? i'm just a 'bridge' after all..i settle matters when i'm faced with them..and because of my duty, i have to try to determine the answer to every problem i'm faced..including my own..

but can't you just get out of my head NOW?! yeah, i know..i part of me wants you to leave, but still, there's the side that's saying 'no! please! don't leave! i don't want you to..' everytime i remember your situations, i end up smiling and yet, it's fake..i smile, trying to hide all hurt and emotion and showing happiness for what just happened..

it's like you recognize my existence only when you need me and yet you give me no worth after all's well..i guess the problem is that i'm stupid enough to answer every dilemma you throw at me even though i know that at the end of it, i'd be the loser..i'm not strong enough to say that you have to do it on your own if you want to survive..it's better that you didn't know i existed..rather than have you forget me when you find your peace..is that my role in this lifetime?"

"It's not easy for me to live my life being who I am. Keeping secrets."
-Superman, Superman Returns..

A Side Step..

Side-stepping from my multiply account..i just want to post a blog here..it's been months since i last opened and posted on this blog..since multiply, well..you know what's next..i even had to recover my password just to be able to manage it again..haha..

well..why the sidestep..? i just wanted to do this so that i can unload most, if not all, of what is "going on inside.."

to start off..i feel so spiritually dry..i'm so annoyed that i can't even find myself reading my Bible.. praying like i used to.. it's just not the same..i am able to study for school..but still..i don't "feel" it.. not like last semester..or last year..it's just plain different..

being a semi-antisocial is hard work..on one side, i'm able to do things "my way.." but it being double-edged..it hurts to see myself a distance from people..part of me wants to "mingle, chat, and bond" with them..but it also whispers to my ear: "Hindi naman kayo close e..wag ka na umasa.."

yes, i know it sounds stupid..and i am very much aware of my weakness..i know that it's a problem within me that i have to deal with..it's just that it's not as easy as it seems..it takes time.. patience..etc..

i do realize that i lack attention..i guess i just miss the attention that my dad used to give me.. he always looked after me..he would usually ask if i was ok..and i would always answer yes..i guess now i realize how dreadful those words are..if i had only told him everything.. i guess that was part of my dad's job here on earth.. to make sure i'm fine..

and i'm very thankful for him..and YES..i do miss my dad.. it may not seem like it..but it is the truth.. i may not seem to miss the people in my life..but deep inside..i really do..i really do enjoy the late-night chats..even if it means lacking a few hours of rest so that i can focus better on school..not to mention textmates..even if it means purchasing credits just to be able to text a good number of friends.."bonding time" is always something i would love to have..

sadly..a good number of things have changed..in and out of me..maybe producing reasons why i am not able to do these things anymore..it's just sad that i am only able to talk to myself..i "dream myself" to sleep..or write nonsense just so i can forget about such things even for a while..

well..right now..i'm already thinking of what people might say after reading this post.. number one on the list of course would be spiritual stuff..don't get me wrong..those things should always be on top..next to God of course..i guess i just lack the spirit..i'm too led by my own soul.. and not by my spirit..(wow..i really learned something from foundational doctrine..)

that's what i'd really want to have..to have the Spirit lead me in every aspect..i may not be perfect right away..but i do strive to be..

i don't expect you to be blessed by this post..it's sooooo full of sentiments that seem unable to edify..so sorry..but still..God Bless You, Reader.. -.-

VICTORY IN BROKENNESS..

Wow! itong blog kong 'to e parang isang creepy old house na..sort of like the old church na pinuntahan namen nung mission trip..grabe..andami ko nang na-miss na ilagay dito!

Iisa-isahin ko ba talaga?! ok ok..

Isa-summarize ko na lang yung about sa school..haaaaaaayyy!! grabe! naging sobrang madugo..as in.. dun ko na-realize na hindi na talaga uubra yung mga pasta-stock knowledge..if you wanna pass, PRACTICE! That's the way to survive sa engineering, kung inde kopyahan..and I'm proud to say na inde ako nangongopya..sa exams..sa assignment..it depends..hehe..may sabit e no..hehe..

bakit naging madugo, you ask? lemme tell you..

EE201 muna..yan.. wow..subject sa major namen! cool! finally! we're taking up subjects related to our course! aba aba..inde pala madali..sa simula..kung inde ka talaga magpa-practice, you're bound to fail.. e kung banatan ka ba naman ng 13/100 at 15/100 para sa first two quizzes mo e..tingnan naten kung good to go ka pa rin..

MATH112: wow! madali lang pala e..! tapos sa quiz..30/100..practice really makes perfect..or nearly perfect..hehe..sa exams..aba..anyabang ko e, ano?! inde ako naga-aral palibhasa naiintindihan ko..ayan..muntik na din lumaglag..sabi nga ng prof e: "Eto, hindi mahirap-matrabaho.." at yon ang pinatunayan namen..thank the LORD at sa final exam e talagang arangkada ang utak..

MATH208 (i think): ayan..Differential Equations..tagugz! reinforcements! reinforcements! talaga nga naman na mag-aaral ka ulet ng Integral Calculus ulet..at Differential Equations..parang lahat e aaralin ulet! waw..grabe..buti nlng at "kilala" ako ng prof kong matindi..hehe..

sa lahat ng 'to..by His grace alone..i passed..it really is something else kapag iginagapang mo kay LORD..sabi nga ni kuya aaron saken e..sa college, dun na ituturo ni LORD na you have to really depend everything on Him.. inde na pwede yung pa-easy easy..if you wanna pass..PRAY and practice..that's Engineering..sa isang Kristiyano..

ok! off we go to da MISSION TRIP PART! eto ang matinding kwento..mahaba..masaya..exciting..! yiy!

nang malaman ko yung grades ko during the examination week, talaga namang "SHOUT FOR JOY!" HE IS FAITHFUL!!!!!! ON TO MISSION TRIP!!!!!! WOOOOOHHHH!!!

ok ok..composure..so came the week for the mission trip..busy-busyhan ako for the wires, equipment and the like..kung anu-anong mga gamit e inaayos na..gawa ng checklist so as not to forget anything bago umalis..ayan..ok..so far so good..we left at about 9:30pm nung October 24..para ang dating namen dun e Morning of October 25..and so..off we went..yun yung mga tipo ng biyahe na gusto ko e..yung mga 10 hours or 12 hours..best of Yoyong, yoyoy at steven segal..alabama..wahahaha..kulet nyang mga yan..talaga namang tutulugan mo na lang lahat e..buti na lang masarap matulog..

nang makalapag kame..ayon..sinundo kami at ihinatid dun sa bahay na tutuluyan namen..at aba! akalain mo..! mas malayo ng onti as compared dun sa dating tinuluyan namen..! oh no..mahaba-habang lakaran ito papunta sa Prayer Hill..mainit..mabibigat na gamit..yikes! challenge 'to!

practice muna kame for the first few hours..just to get things going..tapos nung bandang tanghali..i went back to the house to eat sana..kaso..kararating pa lang ni ate Dada, one of our cooks, from the palengke..so ok..hintay ulet..for the meantime..akyat kami ni Kuya Jay dun sa prayer hill para mai-organize ko na yung mga gamit..yan ang isa sa mga naging trabaho ko..hehe..technical person talaga e..from PA, projector, speakers and the like..it was my job to place them in the proper places..and indeed..mahirap din pala..pero siguro after 30 minutes of looking around and thinking..na-settle na rin namin..at bumaba kami for a well deserved lunch..we started yung 1st session quite late..why? because..nag set-up pa ulet..chaka nilipad ang malaking trapal na bubong namen..ganung kalakas yung hangin..grabe..buti inde ako nilipad..hehe..jowk.. so ayon.. ako ang worship leader ng 1st session..waw..it was my honor and responsibility..ok..mala Youth Aflame ito! Ako naggigitara..si kuya aaron naman e nag-piano..tapos percussion sila kim at kuya pj, i think..so ayun..xmpre mejo mabigat..kasi kick-off session..pero it's by His grace naman..si Ptr. Joe ang nag-speak..and true enough..iba ang naging message niya.. napunta sa salvation and recommitment..o diba..1st session..iba na agad..and then break muna..for dinner..practices ng onti..and then, akyat na kame ulet..xempre refresh muna..ligu-ligo..unahan sa banyo..nyaks..buti na lang mejo mabilis kame..5 minutes..hehe..

Evening session..game muna, courtesy of kuya PJ..hehe..master showman e..ganun talaga..pagkatapos nun..presentations..variety siyempre..ang naging challenge lang e since 2nd time na namen dun sa tumauini..dami ng presentations na inde na pwedeng gamitin..so synergize/collaborate kame.. and by His grace..nagkaroon ng response sa mga kabataan..we thank the LORD sa nangyari that night..it was such an experience..

the next morning..aga ko nagising! akyat ako dun sa hilltop kung saan kame nagpractice nung 1st day..may mga sementadong kubo dun..ayon..kanta..devotion.."....I offer devotion...." ayan..may kanta pa..hehe..pero it really is a great place to meet with the LORD..kita ang magandang view..masarap ang simoy ng hangin..perfect place for senti nga e..hehe..pero that's another story..basta ayon..talagang meeting with God doon is such an experience..sooobra..baket..kasi..may sort of prophecy si Ptr. Joe nun..since 5 kami, 4 kaming guys na kasama niya..and in that prophecy e meron daw samen missionary, pastor, evangelist, and apostle..i'm not quite sure jan sa apat na yan..but i think yan nga yun..so mejo nakikinikinita na naming apat..hehe..ano kaya ako? hehe..

ayon..we ended up as 5 people na bumaba after that devotion..may mga kasunod pala ako..hehe..ayon..Corporate devotion was led by kuya, este, Ptr. Mike..tapos..breakfast..ligo..akyat sa Prayer Hill..hehe..games muna..and then worship time..session was led by kuya Aaron..at talaga nga naman..project ang boses..powerful message..and then..break into groups..fortunately, si ate imee ay co-leader ako..*whew* i'm safe! haha..jowk..ayon..siya yung nagpaunang-share..and then after we prayed, i testified..siyempre life experience..ok naman ang kinalabasan..glory to God..and then before we went down for the lunch break, aba..may in-between session activity pala..it's either workshop, nood ng film, or something..at pinili nila ang nood ng film..Spirit..ung kabayo..basta ayon..at ang maswerteng pinaakyat nila para mag-setup ng mga yon ay..*drum roll* AKO! aba talaga nga naman..by public demand pa daw e..nakow! wahahaha..pero ok lang..it really is my job naman..kahit wala ako sa presentations..huhu.. hehehehe..pero ayon..after eating..akyat ako at about 1:20pm..set uo..and then baba ulet..i just watched them practice..kasi inde na ako pwedeng sumingit..after some 30 minutes..i thought..akyat na ulet ako..baka natapos na ung unang disc..and indeed..tapos na nga..naunahan ako..so salpak ng 2nd disc..after quite an areglo with the equipment..dahil pinatay nila bigla ang power..so..SOP ako..maayos at organized na pag-on ng equipment..and near the end of the 2nd disc..talaga nga naman o..biglang buhos ang ulan.. so ligpit ako ulet ng gamit as fast as possible..grabe..from the laptop, projector, down to the instruments..tago agad namen..para inde masira..buti na lang mabilis kami kumilos, thank God..hehe..oh yeah..just so you know.. ako lang yung andun na kasama sa YR Team..so lahat sila nasa bahay..mejo matagal din ung ulan, so we had to adjust the time again..at nilipat pa namin ung mga gamit sa kabilang hill..sa music bar..buti na lang mas malapit yun sa bahay..although naging matrabaho pa rin..at siyempre, we had to follow my setup..kaya kelangan andun ako..nagtututuro at nagbububuhat..siyempre with "please" naman ang pananalita ko..ayoko maging mayabang na palibhasa saken naka-base yun e feeling mataas na ako..masaya din ako, bagamat pagod, kasi they understood na ako yung nag-aayos nun..it was very humbling sa amin na i submitted to them, as they did to me..fuzzy feeling?! siguro..haha..

ayon..after nun..akyat na ulet ang team..talagang worship kami nun..and indeed there was the spark of revival..! ang ganda nung sight na nagtatalunan at nagwo-worship sila..siyempre nakakapagod nga lang dahil dere-derecho kaming mga instrumentalists..muntik pa ata mabingi yung right ear ko dahil katabi ko yung cymbals..at pagkalakas-lakas pumalo ni..dadadan! kuya PJ! after nun..there was a slight ringing in my ear..buti na lang inde ako nabingi..hehe..the next session was supposed to start bandang 8:15pm..pero na-move yun kasi nagpractice pa ulit sila..pagkatapos kumain e naligo agad ako, and knowing na wala naman ako part dun..akyat agad ako..at about 8:20pm, andun na ako..making some preparations..at siyempre..hinintay ko sila na umakyat at about 8:45pm..we started the presentations..the LORD's anointing was with us kaya naging maganda naman ang presentations..and then, worship ulit..that was how we ended the night..ay hindi pala! we ended the night with pikchur-pikchuran! haha.."kimchi!" (tawag sa peace sign pag pikchuran..hehe..)

saturday, October 29..as usual..devotion..pero this devotion of mine was quite different..sure i had my Bible, my mug of milo+coffee and my guitar..pero iba ang naging move sa akin ni LORD..si Ptr. Joe lang ang kasama ko that time..pero His presence was just all over me..i was crying while worshiping the LORD..tumutugtog lang and the songs just kept coming..i cried my heart out to Him..tapos nun..prayer walk kami ni ptr. Joe..that was when we saw that certain spot na talagang ang ganda nung view..it was such a marvelous sight to behold..and then..baba na ulet kami..

we didn't have our corporate devotion na that time kasi namalengke si ptr. joe..i think..kaya ayun..prepare, prepare kami..some of us nga e inde na naligo..akyat agad..haha..yuck..nyahahaha..e kelangan na namen umakyat e..chaka fun day naman nun..kaya ok lng..at least..isang liguan na lang to wash off lahat ng dumi na kakapit samen after the games..cheering siyempre inde mawawala yan..*tenench tenench! here we go! tenench tenench! ISAIAH!* yan ung simula nung samen..sounds family..wahaha!

tapos games na! courtesy of Ptr. Mike..sadly e inde kami nanalo..pero it's ok..masaya naman e! tapos yung last game e treasure hunt..supposedly e 30 minutes..pero antagal namen maka pick up..! haha..kaya napahaba..pero nung may nanalo na..ayun..it was time to award everyone..after nun e yung tribute video na ginawa ni kuya aaron..and then we broke into groups ulet..we prayed and blessed them and gave them the tokens..siyempre..yung aken..*ehem ehem* bentang benta..sa YR Team..! sila ang pumakyaw! hindi yung members namen! ano ba yan..haha! tapos ayun..may message lang si Ptra. Oss sandali..after nun..kain kami..pikchuran ulet! and then..baba na ulet kami..kasi we had to practice for the presentations na gagawin namen sa Lapogan-baby church ng YMA..so mejo malayo yun..pero ok lang..the LORD was the one who moved from the presentations down to the worship time, led by ate Melo..we started quite late kasi ayun nga..we had to prepare the place ulet..pero we came home exhausted, but victorious..Glory to God!

Last day! Sunday! we broke up into groups..4 groups actually..siyempre dun ako sa main..kasama ko si Ptra. Oss, kuya Jay, kuya EfEf, at si Joy A..it was quite the breaking sa akin..breaking ni LORD na talaga nga namang extreme! walang mic stand..nasisintunado ang gitara kahit itono..ang overhead e mejo magulo..katabi ko ang cymbals, ULET, dahil maiksi ang wire..paos ako dahil siguro sa hamog at dahil nabanat ang vocal cords dun sa presentation the past night..so hirap iproject ng boses hanggang likod..mejo mataas ang tono nung gitara..kaya nasa bingit ng pag piyok..but still..it was His grace that brought us through..and indeed e nagbago ang message ni Ptra. Oss..talaga nga naman e no..and then the altar call..imagine almost 20 people who responded..mag-isa lang siya na magpe-pray para sa kanila..so 2 lang ang naipag-pray ni Ta Oss tpos corporate prayer na lang..at matapos nun e biglang may bumagsak na matanda..napuspos siguro..buti nlng nasalo ni Ta Oss..ayan..diba..ibang klase..pero maganda naman ang nangyari..kaya ayon..after the service..nakatikim kami ng Pansit Tumauini! aba ibang klase..kakaibang pansit..kaya ayan..kain kame! after that..dahil hinihintay pa namen yung ibang groups dun s church..laboy muna kami!!!! wuuuuuttt!!!

pinuntahan namin yung lumang catholic church..astig..! soooobra..nagpikchuran kami dun.. hehehe..we were very very very very fortunate na makita yun..siyempre hindi dahil sa catholic church..pero dahil out of 21 members ng YR team..4 lang kami na nakapunta at nakakita nun..yung loob, siyempre..so ako, si kuya jay, kuya efef, at si joy a.. tuwang tuwa ko kasi it's quite the experience..inakyat namen yung mga bells nung church..kaso bawal patunugin e..hehe..sunod lng kami..puro kimchi pix kame! hahaha..so enjoyable! tapos pag uwi namin..andun na ung iba..hintay pa ng onti..kain ng suha..and then we went home..the other guys e naglaro ng basketball..inde na ako sumama kasi wala din naman ako gagawin..and i don't play basketball kasi..hehe..stay kami dun..bonding kuno..pero puro pikchuran lang naman talaga..until the others arrived..mejo napa-rush pa kami dahil sa schedule nung bus..rush kain at rush ayos kami..anlamig pa sa bus nun..soooobra..just ask the others..hahaha..

overall..the Mission Trip was a blast..! we had our side trips din siyempre..inde ko na naisama yung side trip naming 8 boys..hehe..ngayon ko lang naisama..after yun nung saturday..nung nagliligpitan na..ayun..we took "the shortcut.." pikchuran galore! wahahaha..

ayon nga..i personally enjoyed that mission trip..it was really something else..it may have been the same place..but it definitely wasn't the same thing that happened..the LORD moves in mysterious ways..all we can do is follow..as the title of this post says..VICTORY IN BROKENNESS..i was really broken..mula sa school hanggang sa mission trip..i learned talaga na unless we are broken..we cannot be molded anew..we have to understand that brokenness is something we must not despise..in brokenness we are made whole..we have to really surrender to the LORD everything if we truly desire to be broken..as glass is broken and melted in the fire..we have to be the same..we have to be as a glass vessel that is broken and melted in the fire of God so that we can be molded into a finer vessel..as we go through this process, we are continually being refined into the perfect vessel that we are meant to be..Glory to God!

Brokenness is very painful..i know..i've been through it..and i'm sure you have been as well..if not..then..it'll come in His time..sa totoo lang..hanggang sa ngayon..as i type, i feel that brokenness inside..another part of me is being broken..it truly hurts..because it removes the bad part of our lives-the parts that we do not want touched..the bad parts that we got used to..those things that feel right but are really wrong..even with the pain and suffering that i have to endure and must endure..i do believe that one day..i will be one of those perfect vessels..those vessels that have endured the fires of testing and the times of brokenness..those vessels that have stood the test of time and have been perfected, fit for the Master's use..Hallelujah!

As we are being broken, whether it be in the spiritual or in the natural, let us learn that "If the LORD delights in a man's way, He makes his steps firm; though he stumble, he will not fall, for the LORD upholds him with His hand.." Psalm 37:23-24..This was and still is His word for me as I went through the 1st semester until the mission trip..may it be a blessing and encouragement..God Bless You, Reader..

WAW..

creepy, old blog na ata 'tong blog na 'to..August pa ang hui kong post..'di bale..mahaba ang kasunod neto..promise..

God Bless You, Reader..

Post Preliminary Examinations..

"Keep my soul, and deliver me; let me not be ashamed, for I put my trust in You."

-Psa 25:20

Eto ung verse na ipinakita saken ni Lord through e-Sword..i just thought of reading the Word of the Lord through it..and so..ayan..naka-load ang Psalms 25..talagang si Lord ang gumagawa ng paraan para ipadala Niya ang words Niya..Thank You, Lord..

ayan..natapos na rin ang prelims..after much delay..natapos na rin..at least ung exams nung sa lecture..hehe..and..nakuha na rin namen ung results nung iba..and i really thank the Lord for His grace..talagang si Lord lang..

to start off, sa PGC (Philippine Government and Constitution), 83% ung rating ng score ko..so that's more than the minimum requirement..at nagkataon pa na sa exam na yun e andaming kelangan i-memorize..sa EE201, ay eto na po..eto ung subject na as in lubog ang aking status..na magmula nung 1st quiz hanggang kanina (bago ko makuha ung paper), e kinakabahan ako..pero the Lord's mercy is without end..i got a good score na talaga namang humila sa aking previous average..from "nil and no heartbeat" to a "near 50-50 chance" of passing and surviving..a little more effort sa mga following quizzes and i will have passed the subject..

Mechanics..the 5-unit subject.. 1/4 of our total load..alanganin na grade (pero mas maganda ang status nito kesa dun sa EE201)..after receiving the Prelim Exam paper..whoo..hinila ang grade ko paakyat.. although 62/100, it's enough..i could have gotten a higher score kung hindi ko sana binura ung isang solution..pero that's another story..haha..what's important is that the Lord is continuously helping me get up..pero that's not all sa subject na 'to..

All glory, honor, and praises to the amazing Lord!! Talagang kamay Niya yung nagsusulat nung Quiz 3 namen dito..the results came in late, kasi..kaya kanina lang namin nakuha..so nagsusulat ako, minding my own business..biglang tinawag ako..so siyempre wala akong kamuwang-muwang sa nangyayari..so kinalabit nila ako..punta ako sa harap..tapos na-realize ko na yung quiz 3 pala un..and then biglang may nagtanong sa prof about the quiz..tapos ang naintindihan ko na lang sa response ng prof e something like "yes, he got a perfect score.." so syempre masaya ako kasi alam ko na mahihila pa ang grade ko paakyat..and then syempre, saying out loud, "Thank You, Lord..!"

It's only by His grace that we can stand..dito talaga sa mga few exams na ito e nakita ko na praying really is key..i prayed to God na Siya ang tumulong saken..and He really is faithful.. all you need..all i needed pala talaga..was faith..a step of faith..and then another..

May this be an encouragement to anyone and everyone who reads it..this may not be the same situation you're in..but what's important is the thought that all we need is the Lord..God Bless You, Reader..

haaaaayy..grabe na 'to..inaagnas na ang blog ko..haha..hirap na talaga pag onti nlng tym mo for these things..hehe..pero i'm not saying naman na ayoko na gumawa ng ganito..wala lng talaga time..buti ngayon mejo nakasingit singit sa kuya..hehe..

sa totoo lang, dami ko talaga updates..well..ung mga sumunod ko na quizzes e mejo naging ok naman na..ata..except for 2..talagang struggle parin..hehe..pero i believe that God is working something out for me..sabi nga diba.."All things work together for good for those who love God.."

kaya i stand by His grace and mercy na makakabawi ako sa mga ibang subjects, although alam ko na magiging mahirap..siyempre, it's a lot easier to say na balansihin ko kesa gawin ko..in reality, mahirap talaga..time management is something that you don't learn in a day or two..it really takes a lot of experience to be able to do it..sa dami ng experiences ko e mukhang kulang pa..hehe..

sa school..as i said..ok naman na ung iba..mejo nagiging stable na..this coming monday e may review classes/sessions para samen..at siyempre..pupunta ako..kasi i'm really gonna need all the help i can get from our seniors..3rd year na e..masarap man sabihin, ang hirap naman ng challenges..pero that's the whole point..college wouldn't be college without the hardships, specifically the major subjects na talagang kelangan mong tutukan..college wouldn't college kung magiging madali..well..sa totoo lang e sana nga talaga e mas madali..kasi pag nagku-kwento ung mga prof namen e parang andali ng college para sa kanila..siyempre..inde nawala ung bigla ko naisip: "sana katulad ko sila..parang mga hindi nahirapan sa college.."


well..things have changed..kaya nga mas mahirap e..kasi mas maraming mga "kalaban.." tv, laboy, a cozy bed, tambay and the like..kaya..ang hirap din..that's why inde pwede ung pagpapayabang na kaya ko ang college..without God..nakow..goodbye happy times..hello summer classes ang bagsak ko..hehe..thankfully e inde pa naman ako nagkakaroon ng ganun na episode sa buhay ko..hehe..glory to God..

just turned 18! yey! thank you, Lord, for another year na naidagdag sa buhay ko..hehe..ngayon e legal na ako..hehe..no curfew, etc..hehe..ayos..sabay ganun e no..salamat po pala sa mga bumati at naka alala..hehe..i really appreciated them..kasi alam ko sa sarili ko na kahit papaano e i'm remembered..hehe..senti..nyahahaha!

pero syempre, may mga dagdag na responsibilities yan..inde ko pa man nakikita e, makikita ko rin yan..hehe..Glory to God for everything He has given, is giving, and will give to me..whether material or not..if it's from God, then it must be good..Hallelujah for the Lord's faithfulness..

*yawn*ayan..nako..mejo inaantok na ako..hehe..dami ko pa maikukwento pero..dito na muna..hehe..back up pa ako for tomorrow's service e..i have to prepare din..God Bless You, Reader..

Saglit lang..

Hehe..sasaglit lang po ako sa blog ko..hehe..it's been quite a while since i last posted here..eto na uli..kaso maikli lang kasi matutulog na 'ko..hehe..

A lot of things have happened since AY 07-08 started..well for one thing nag-aaral na ako ngayon..haha..yup..nag aaral na ako ngayon..tama yun..ibig sabihin nun dati talaga e, well nag-aaral pero inde ganito ka-frequent at hindi ganito ka seryoso na umabot sa point na kahit may bisita e sige lang ako sa aral..hehe..buti na lang at sila niko, joy at shiella lng ung mga un..hehe..kung mejo bigatin..aba tigil aral ako..hehe..

ayun..about my quizzes..as i have said nung isang Monday Night Out, laglagan ang aking mga quizzes..ung mga 1st major quizzes ko sa mga subjects ko e honestly isa lang ang pumasa..yup..PGC was the only 1st Quiz that I passed..and that was the time when i totally as in totally forgot that we had a quiz for the day..so i had no choice but take the exam..i skimmed a few pages off my notebook and our textbook..and by skimming i mean allotting less than 5 seconds for a single page..and by a few pages i mean 5 would be the maximum..and then..a miracle just happened..the day we were allowed to see our papers..which were arranged from highest to lowest..(of course expected ko nang mejo matatagalan bago ako matawag..) And glory to God because i was able to get a passing score..25/45..and technically, that's above most of my classmates' scores..of course all Glory to God for that! inde na ako nakapag-aral pero ipinasa Niya ako..maybe because sabi ni Lord e "Joshua has seen enough failing quizzes..here's a surprise for him.." Thank you Lord..inde na nga nag-aral..nakapasa pa..2nd quiz on Mechanics was a pass..52/100..at least my average got higher..haha..as for the others..still have to work on them..haha..

ayan napapahaba..anyway..onti nlng..my schedule has been arranged, so i'm quite thankful because i don't feel too "loaded" right now..i'm still able to study..and i'm able to answer in class..at times..i thank God for that..

life has been getting a little rough..3rd year na kasi e..but that's how God planned it for me..and i'm following it..sabi nga e.."No other best exceeds God's best.."

Hallelujah for that..! Thank You Lord, for everything..

i pray that this post can become an encouragement to those few who are able to read this blog..^_^ God Bless You, Reader..

Before School Starts..

yep..the title says it all..baka pag may pasok na e..ayun..inde na ako masyado makapag-post..so..ayan..

just soooo thankful kay Lord..it's just amazing to see the Lord working sa vacation ko..mula pa talaga nung simula ng year..He's given me a lot..sakto lagi ang timing ni Lord..syempre diba..si Lord un e..^_^

start of the year..binulaga ako ng exams..na mejo nakaka-down..nung mga panahon na yun e was already having thoughts of summer classes..but still..nakakagulat na the day after sabihin ko na "wala na.." e biglang lakas loob ko na sasabihin naman na "kaya pa 'to!" paulit-ulit..such an encouragement in the midst of adversity e..oo nga hindi nga ako nakasama sa Singapore..nakapasa naman ako ng 2nd year..all through God's grace..tulad nga ng sinabi ko sa previous posts..nakabawas sa gastos un!

Inayos ni Lord yung schedule ng kuhaan ng clearance..april 2..no conflict with camp whatsoever..so mas focused ako nun..kasi syempre dun ko nalaman na pumasa ako sa Physics and all the others..Glory to God! He gave a fresh anointing nung camp, which was such an enjoyable 5 days for me (kasi advanced party ako..), although to some degree e may frustration pa rin..hehe..so after nun..looking forward to DVBS and Mission Trip '07..

in between, He led me to read The Final Quest..through that book, i believe that He increased my wisdom to a certain degree..and i thank Him for that..it really is something..

DVBS preparations..onting pamomroblema sa materials, etc..we prayed for it..and so it was..si Lord ang nag-provide ng lahat ng materials..sumobra pa! He provided the strength and endurance para tumagal ako sa DVBS part 1 & 2..hehe..tapos kahit papaano e nakapahinga ako nung Family Day..hehe..

I prayed for the Lord's provision para sa Mission Trip..kasi siyempre mahirap nang humingi..and the Lord gave more than enough! nakasama ako! and may binago nanaman Siya saken..for the better, of course..enjoy ang mission trip!

I prayed for a good scheduling ng pre sectioning and enrollment..aba..June 5 ang pre sectioning and enrollment..so far so good 'di ba..!

Of course, hindi mawawala ung prayers ko para sa tuition, etc..in other words..provision for the coming semester..and indeed He is the Great Provider..ayan na..i'm enrolled..fully paid na ang school fees..maganda ang schedule ng section namin..

All glory, honor, power, and praises belong to the LORD! He has been and will be my Provider, my Strength, and everything that I need..He has been and will be faithful to provide for all our needs according to His riches and glory..and the keys: PRAYER and FAITH..

I pray that you be inspired..not by my consistency in prayer or my strong faith, or by what i have received through these..but by the power of the Lord our God and my testimony of His greatness..God Bless You, Reader..