Anger Management (at its worst)

It's so super annoying kapag di mo ma-control yung galit mo.. nakaka-asar lang talaga na isang simpleng bagay e napagbuhusan ko ng galit.. my apologies to those affected..my fullest of apologies..it's a really tough job controlling yourself pag biglang nag-explode ang galit..

but I've prayed about it naman na.. and I thank the LORD's suuuuuuper fast response.. Ecclesiastes 3 covers it all.. nakakatuwa lang na ang bilis talaga ng response ni LORD.. biglang humupa yung galit ko.. all of a sudden e, biglang under control na.. thank you, LORD.. He continuously changes me into a better person..

God Bless You, Reader..

Whew..pagod nanaman ako..

grabe..simula palang ng taon e nae-exhaust na kagad ako.. daming mga bagong responsibilities, projects, assignments, exams, paper, etc..Sa totoo lang, it's all getting a little bit crowdy sa utak ko..

perhaps, too many to handle na.. pero sabi nga ni Ptr. Edwin, "No sacrifice, no fire.." and it seems as though this is my sacrifice.. yung pagiging excessively exhausted ng katawan ko, not to mention my spirit..

pero I thank God kasi not only is He giving me a strong heart, but also a strong and enduring spirit to go with it.. i'm proud to have been given these.. pero it all comes with a price.. madaming bumubuhos sakin na weights.. weights that sometimes seem too heavy to bear for someone like me.. pahirapan na rin ngayon.. whew..

pero minsan kasi nagiging self-induced nalang e.. kaya nagiging mahirap din lalo.. i don't know kung maganda ba talaga o hindi ung nakasanayan ko na "tanggap lang ng tanggap hangga't kaya.." pero sa tingin ko nagagasgas na..hehe..

kasi on one side, it feels good na ma-appreciate sa pag tulong.. i don't mind it too much.. kahit ba kapaguran ko ang kapalit e, basta makatulong.. sa akin ganun.. ang ayaw ko lang e yun bang hindi na nakikita ng iba na mabigat na masyado.. yun bang sobra ang expectations sa isang katulad ko..

i admit, i'm not someone who you can ALWAYS rely on.. i've got my weak spots.. and i also admit na masyado na akong nagiging mayabang sa ginagawa ko na yan.. well, i have my reasons.. isa na siguro e kasi i sometimes feel overworked and underappreciated.. hindi naman sa gusto ko na lagi akong napupuri.. i know na mas maganda if you go unnoticed, for it's the LORD's job to reward me for what i do.. sa akin lang naman e yung pakinggan yung case ko.. even better if my side would be defended accordingly.. kaso that's where things get bad.. i'm always the guy whose below and behind.. ako ung kailangang maging mali.. or else hindi maaayos yung problema..

(senti mode ito..wahehehe..)

i've lived with that mindset.. and it's painfully hard.. pero that's where the LORD comes in.. i try to change.. with His help, syempre..it's a struggle, but I know that it's going to be worth it.. sa totoo lang, i feel empty kapag hindi ako nakakabasa ng kahit 2 encouraging sentences from His Word, the Bible.. para sa akin, it's enough to get me going again..

I do not see this post as something to bring much encouragement to you, reader.. I just want to pour out some things before it all boils down to something worse.. at least i release some, if not all, of the pain and hardships that this world brings..

I just pray that i can give you encouragement through this blog, if any does exist in its entirety.. God Bless You, Reader..