Bits and Pieces of Life

Lay off, will you?!

2008-04-11T01:21:00.001+08:00

"why don't you just get out of my head, for goodness sake! i'm suffering here! can't you just let me be? why is it that when i think of the situation, i always end up on the short end of the rope?!

"what's the big deal, anyway?! alright, alright, i do admit i'm a loser..you don't have to rub it in my face, for crying out loud! how can i even concentrate on anything if you keep popping up out of the blue?! sheeeeshh!

yeah, i know, i know..i have to let go of it..but how can i do it if you keep reminding me of the times when i made a fool out of myself? i'm aware that i had high hopes..and i did expect something..but it really does feel now that i was hoping for something that could not be.. dreaming for a reality that won't exist..

okay okay..i did say and agree that i would let the situation be..that if something came up, i'd try to do something to fix it..but everytime i do, i just end up getting squished afterwards! i feel like a jerk everytime i settle matters like this..i'm the one forgotten and neglected..

well, what can a guy like me do? i'm just a 'bridge' after all..i settle matters when i'm faced with them..and because of my duty, i have to try to determine the answer to every problem i'm faced..including my own..

but can't you just get out of my head NOW?! yeah, i know..i part of me wants you to leave, but still, there's the side that's saying 'no! please! don't leave! i don't want you to..' everytime i remember your situations, i end up smiling and yet, it's fake..i smile, trying to hide all hurt and emotion and showing happiness for what just happened..

it's like you recognize my existence only when you need me and yet you give me no worth after all's well..i guess the problem is that i'm stupid enough to answer every dilemma you throw at me even though i know that at the end of it, i'd be the loser..i'm not strong enough to say that you have to do it on your own if you want to survive..it's better that you didn't know i existed..rather than have you forget me when you find your peace..is that my role in this lifetime?"

"It's not easy for me to live my life being who I am. Keeping secrets."
-Superman, Superman Returns..

A Side Step..

2008-03-01T22:47:00.002+08:00

Side-stepping from my multiply account..i just want to post a blog here..it's been months since i last opened and posted on this blog..since multiply, well..you know what's next..i even had to recover my password just to be able to manage it again..haha..

well..why the sidestep..? i just wanted to do this so that i can unload most, if not all, of what is "going on inside.."

to start off..i feel so spiritually dry..i'm so annoyed that i can't even find myself reading my Bible.. praying like i used to.. it's just not the same..i am able to study for school..but still..i don't "feel" it.. not like last semester..or last year..it's just plain different..

being a semi-antisocial is hard work..on one side, i'm able to do things "my way.." but it being double-edged..it hurts to see myself a distance from people..part of me wants to "mingle, chat, and bond" with them..but it also whispers to my ear: "Hindi naman kayo close e..wag ka na umasa.."

yes, i know it sounds stupid..and i am very much aware of my weakness..i know that it's a problem within me that i have to deal with..it's just that it's not as easy as it seems..it takes time.. patience..etc..

i do realize that i lack attention..i guess i just miss the attention that my dad used to give me.. he always looked after me..he would usually ask if i was ok..and i would always answer yes..i guess now i realize how dreadful those words are..if i had only told him everything.. i guess that was part of my dad's job here on earth.. to make sure i'm fine..

and i'm very thankful for him..and YES..i do miss my dad.. it may not seem like it..but it is the truth.. i may not seem to miss the people in my life..but deep inside..i really do..i really do enjoy the late-night chats..even if it means lacking a few hours of rest so that i can focus better on school..not to mention textmates..even if it means purchasing credits just to be able to text a good number of friends.."bonding time" is always something i would love to have..

sadly..a good number of things have changed..in and out of me..maybe producing reasons why i am not able to do these things anymore..it's just sad that i am only able to talk to myself..i "dream myself" to sleep..or write nonsense just so i can forget about such things even for a while..

well..right now..i'm already thinking of what people might say after reading this post.. number one on the list of course would be spiritual stuff..don't get me wrong..those things should always be on top..next to God of course..i guess i just lack the spirit..i'm too led by my own soul.. and not by my spirit..(wow..i really learned something from foundational doctrine..)

that's what i'd really want to have..to have the Spirit lead me in every aspect..i may not be perfect right away..but i do strive to be..

i don't expect you to be blessed by this post..it's sooooo full of sentiments that seem unable to edify..so sorry..but still..God Bless You, Reader.. -.-

VICTORY IN BROKENNESS..

2007-10-31T13:04:00.000+08:00

Wow! itong blog kong 'to e parang isang creepy old house na..sort of like the old church na pinuntahan namen nung mission trip..grabe..andami ko nang na-miss na ilagay dito!

Iisa-isahin ko ba talaga?! ok ok..

Isa-summarize ko na lang yung about sa school..haaaaaaayyy!! grabe! naging sobrang madugo..as in.. dun ko na-realize na hindi na talaga uubra yung mga pasta-stock knowledge..if you wanna pass, PRACTICE! That's the way to survive sa engineering, kung inde kopyahan..and I'm proud to say na inde ako nangongopya..sa exams..sa assignment..it depends..hehe..may sabit e no..hehe..

bakit naging madugo, you ask? lemme tell you..

EE201 muna..yan.. wow..subject sa major namen! cool! finally! we're taking up subjects related to our course! aba aba..inde pala madali..sa simula..kung inde ka talaga magpa-practice, you're bound to fail.. e kung banatan ka ba naman ng 13/100 at 15/100 para sa first two quizzes mo e..tingnan naten kung good to go ka pa rin..

MATH112: wow! madali lang pala e..! tapos sa quiz..30/100..practice really makes perfect..or nearly perfect..hehe..sa exams..aba..anyabang ko e, ano?! inde ako naga-aral palibhasa naiintindihan ko..ayan..muntik na din lumaglag..sabi nga ng prof e: "Eto, hindi mahirap-matrabaho.." at yon ang pinatunayan namen..thank the LORD at sa final exam e talagang arangkada ang utak..

MATH208 (i think): ayan..Differential Equations..tagugz! reinforcements! reinforcements! talaga nga naman na mag-aaral ka ulet ng Integral Calculus ulet..at Differential Equations..parang lahat e aaralin ulet! waw..grabe..buti nlng at "kilala" ako ng prof kong matindi..hehe..

sa lahat ng 'to..by His grace alone..i passed..it really is something else kapag iginagapang mo kay LORD..sabi nga ni kuya aaron saken e..sa college, dun na ituturo ni LORD na you have to really depend everything on Him.. inde na pwede yung pa-easy easy..if you wanna pass..PRAY and practice..that's Engineering..sa isang Kristiyano..

ok! off we go to da MISSION TRIP PART! eto ang matinding kwento..mahaba..masaya..exciting..! yiy!

nang malaman ko yung grades ko during the examination week, talaga namang "SHOUT FOR JOY!" HE IS FAITHFUL!!!!!! ON TO MISSION TRIP!!!!!! WOOOOOHHHH!!!

ok ok..composure..so came the week for the mission trip..busy-busyhan ako for the wires, equipment and the like..kung anu-anong mga gamit e inaayos na..gawa ng checklist so as not to forget anything bago umalis..ayan..ok..so far so good..we left at about 9:30pm nung October 24..para ang dating namen dun e Morning of October 25..and so..off we went..yun yung mga tipo ng biyahe na gusto ko e..yung mga 10 hours or 12 hours..best of Yoyong, yoyoy at steven segal..alabama..wahahaha..kulet nyang mga yan..talaga namang tutulugan mo na lang lahat e..buti na lang masarap matulog..

nang makalapag kame..ayon..sinundo kami at ihinatid dun sa bahay na tutuluyan namen..at aba! akalain mo..! mas malayo ng onti as compared dun sa dating tinuluyan namen..! oh no..mahaba-habang lakaran ito papunta sa Prayer Hill..mainit..mabibigat na gamit..yikes! challenge 'to!

practice muna kame for the first few hours..just to get things going..tapos nung bandang tanghali..i went back to the house to eat sana..kaso..kararating pa lang ni ate Dada, one of our cooks, from the palengke..so ok..hintay ulet..for the meantime..akyat kami ni Kuya Jay dun sa prayer hill para mai-organize ko na yung mga gamit..yan ang isa sa mga naging trabaho ko..hehe..technical person talaga e..from PA, projector, speakers and the like..it was my job to place them in the proper places..and indeed..mahirap din pala..pero siguro after 30 minutes of looking around and thinking..na-settle na rin namin..at bumaba kami for a well deserved lunch..we started yung 1st session quite late..why? because..nag set-up pa ulet..chaka nilipad ang malaking trapal na bubong namen..ganung kalakas yung hangin..grabe..buti inde ako nilipad..hehe..jowk.. so ayon.. ako ang worship leader ng 1st session..waw..it was my honor and responsibility..ok..mala Youth Aflame ito! Ako naggigitara..si kuya aaron naman e nag-piano..tapos percussion sila kim at kuya pj, i think..so ayun..xmpre mejo mabigat..kasi kick-off session..pero it's by His grace naman..si Ptr. Joe ang nag-speak..and true enough..iba ang naging message niya.. napunta sa salvation and recommitment..o diba..1st session..iba na agad..and then break muna..for dinner..practices ng onti..and then, akyat na kame ulet..xempre refresh muna..ligu-ligo..unahan sa banyo..nyaks..buti na lang mejo mabilis kame..5 minutes..hehe..

Evening session..game muna, courtesy of kuya PJ..hehe..master showman e..ganun talaga..pagkatapos nun..presentations..variety siyempre..ang naging challenge lang e since 2nd time na namen dun sa tumauini..dami ng presentations na inde na pwedeng gamitin..so synergize/collaborate kame.. and by His grace..nagkaroon ng response sa mga kabataan..we thank the LORD sa nangyari that night..it was such an experience..

the next morning..aga ko nagising! akyat ako dun sa hilltop kung saan kame nagpractice nung 1st day..may mga sementadong kubo dun..ayon..kanta..devotion.."....I offer devotion...." ayan..may kanta pa..hehe..pero it really is a great place to meet with the LORD..kita ang magandang view..masarap ang simoy ng hangin..perfect place for senti nga e..hehe..pero that's another story..basta ayon..talagang meeting with God doon is such an experience..sooobra..baket..kasi..may sort of prophecy si Ptr. Joe nun..since 5 kami, 4 kaming guys na kasama niya..and in that prophecy e meron daw samen missionary, pastor, evangelist, and apostle..i'm not quite sure jan sa apat na yan..but i think yan nga yun..so mejo nakikinikinita na naming apat..hehe..ano kaya ako? hehe..

ayon..we ended up as 5 people na bumaba after that devotion..may mga kasunod pala ako..hehe..ayon..Corporate devotion was led by kuya, este, Ptr. Mike..tapos..breakfast..ligo..akyat sa Prayer Hill..hehe..games muna..and then worship time..session was led by kuya Aaron..at talaga nga naman..project ang boses..powerful message..and then..break into groups..fortunately, si ate imee ay co-leader ako..*whew* i'm safe! haha..jowk..ayon..siya yung nagpaunang-share..and then after we prayed, i testified..siyempre life experience..ok naman ang kinalabasan..glory to God..and then before we went down for the lunch break, aba..may in-between session activity pala..it's either workshop, nood ng film, or something..at pinili nila ang nood ng film..Spirit..ung kabayo..basta ayon..at ang maswerteng pinaakyat nila para mag-setup ng mga yon ay..*drum roll* AKO! aba talaga nga naman..by public demand pa daw e..nakow! wahahaha..pero ok lang..it really is my job naman..kahit wala ako sa presentations..huhu.. hehehehe..pero ayon..after eating..akyat ako at about 1:20pm..set uo..and then baba ulet..i just watched them practice..kasi inde na ako pwedeng sumingit..after some 30 minutes..i thought..akyat na ulet ako..baka natapos na ung unang disc..and indeed..tapos na nga..naunahan ako..so salpak ng 2nd disc..after quite an areglo with the equipment..dahil pinatay nila bigla ang power..so..SOP ako..maayos at organized na pag-on ng equipment..and near the end of the 2nd disc..talaga nga naman o..biglang buhos ang ulan.. so ligpit ako ulet ng gamit as fast as possible..grabe..from the laptop, projector, down to the instruments..tago agad namen..para inde masira..buti na lang mabilis kami kumilos, thank God..hehe..oh yeah..just so you know.. ako lang yung andun na kasama sa YR Team..so lahat sila nasa bahay..mejo matagal din ung ulan, so we had to adjust the time again..at nilipat pa namin ung mga gamit sa kabilang hill..sa music bar..buti na lang mas malapit yun sa bahay..although naging matrabaho pa rin..at siyempre, we had to follow my setup..kaya kelangan andun ako..nagtututuro at nagbububuhat..siyempre with "please" naman ang pananalita ko..ayoko maging mayabang na palibhasa saken naka-base yun e feeling mataas na ako..masaya din ako, bagamat pagod, kasi they understood na ako yung nag-aayos nun..it was very humbling sa amin na i submitted to them, as they did to me..fuzzy feeling?! siguro..haha..

ayon..after nun..akyat na ulet ang team..talagang worship kami nun..and indeed there was the spark of revival..! ang ganda nung sight na nagtatalunan at nagwo-worship sila..siyempre nakakapagod nga lang dahil dere-derecho kaming mga instrumentalists..muntik pa ata mabingi yung right ear ko dahil katabi ko yung cymbals..at pagkalakas-lakas pumalo ni..dadadan! kuya PJ! after nun..there was a slight ringing in my ear..buti na lang inde ako nabingi..hehe..the next session was supposed to start bandang 8:15pm..pero na-move yun kasi nagpractice pa ulit sila..pagkatapos kumain e naligo agad ako, and knowing na wala naman ako part dun..akyat agad ako..at about 8:20pm, andun na ako..making some preparations..at siyempre..hinintay ko sila na umakyat at about 8:45pm..we started the presentations..the LORD's anointing was with us kaya naging maganda naman ang presentations..and then, worship ulit..that was how we ended the night..ay hindi pala! we ended the night with pikchur-pikchuran! haha.."kimchi!" (tawag sa peace sign pag pikchuran..hehe..)

saturday, October 29..as usual..devotion..pero this devotion of mine was quite different..sure i had my Bible, my mug of milo+coffee and my guitar..pero iba ang naging move sa akin ni LORD..si Ptr. Joe lang ang kasama ko that time..pero His presence was just all over me..i was crying while worshiping the LORD..tumutugtog lang and the songs just kept coming..i cried my heart out to Him..tapos nun..prayer walk kami ni ptr. Joe..that was when we saw that certain spot na talagang ang ganda nung view..it was such a marvelous sight to behold..and then..baba na ulet kami..

we didn't have our corporate devotion na that time kasi namalengke si ptr. joe..i think..kaya ayun..prepare, prepare kami..some of us nga e inde na naligo..akyat agad..haha..yuck..nyahahaha..e kelangan na namen umakyat e..chaka fun day naman nun..kaya ok lng..at least..isang liguan na lang to wash off lahat ng dumi na kakapit samen after the games..cheering siyempre inde mawawala yan..*tenench tenench! here we go! tenench tenench! ISAIAH!* yan ung simula nung samen..sounds family..wahaha!

tapos games na! courtesy of Ptr. Mike..sadly e inde kami nanalo..pero it's ok..masaya naman e! tapos yung last game e treasure hunt..supposedly e 30 minutes..pero antagal namen maka pick up..! haha..kaya napahaba..pero nung may nanalo na..ayun..it was time to award everyone..after nun e yung tribute video na ginawa ni kuya aaron..and then we broke into groups ulet..we prayed and blessed them and gave them the tokens..siyempre..yung aken..*ehem ehem* bentang benta..sa YR Team..! sila ang pumakyaw! hindi yung members namen! ano ba yan..haha! tapos ayun..may message lang si Ptra. Oss sandali..after nun..kain kami..pikchuran ulet! and then..baba na ulet kami..kasi we had to practice for the presentations na gagawin namen sa Lapogan-baby church ng YMA..so mejo malayo yun..pero ok lang..the LORD was the one who moved from the presentations down to the worship time, led by ate Melo..we started quite late kasi ayun nga..we had to prepare the place ulet..pero we came home exhausted, but victorious..Glory to God!

Last day! Sunday! we broke up into groups..4 groups actually..siyempre dun ako sa main..kasama ko si Ptra. Oss, kuya Jay, kuya EfEf, at si Joy A..it was quite the breaking sa akin..breaking ni LORD na talaga nga namang extreme! walang mic stand..nasisintunado ang gitara kahit itono..ang overhead e mejo magulo..katabi ko ang cymbals, ULET, dahil maiksi ang wire..paos ako dahil siguro sa hamog at dahil nabanat ang vocal cords dun sa presentation the past night..so hirap iproject ng boses hanggang likod..mejo mataas ang tono nung gitara..kaya nasa bingit ng pag piyok..but still..it was His grace that brought us through..and indeed e nagbago ang message ni Ptra. Oss..talaga nga naman e no..and then the altar call..imagine almost 20 people who responded..mag-isa lang siya na magpe-pray para sa kanila..so 2 lang ang naipag-pray ni Ta Oss tpos corporate prayer na lang..at matapos nun e biglang may bumagsak na matanda..napuspos siguro..buti nlng nasalo ni Ta Oss..ayan..diba..ibang klase..pero maganda naman ang nangyari..kaya ayon..after the service..nakatikim kami ng Pansit Tumauini! aba ibang klase..kakaibang pansit..kaya ayan..kain kame! after that..dahil hinihintay pa namen yung ibang groups dun s church..laboy muna kami!!!! wuuuuuttt!!!

pinuntahan namin yung lumang catholic church..astig..! soooobra..nagpikchuran kami dun.. hehehe..we were very very very very fortunate na makita yun..siyempre hindi dahil sa catholic church..pero dahil out of 21 members ng YR team..4 lang kami na nakapunta at nakakita nun..yung loob, siyempre..so ako, si kuya jay, kuya efef, at si joy a.. tuwang tuwa ko kasi it's quite the experience..inakyat namen yung mga bells nung church..kaso bawal patunugin e..hehe..sunod lng kami..puro kimchi pix kame! hahaha..so enjoyable! tapos pag uwi namin..andun na ung iba..hintay pa ng onti..kain ng suha..and then we went home..the other guys e naglaro ng basketball..inde na ako sumama kasi wala din naman ako gagawin..and i don't play basketball kasi..hehe..stay kami dun..bonding kuno..pero puro pikchuran lang naman talaga..until the others arrived..mejo napa-rush pa kami dahil sa schedule nung bus..rush kain at rush ayos kami..anlamig pa sa bus nun..soooobra..just ask the others..hahaha..

overall..the Mission Trip was a blast..! we had our side trips din siyempre..inde ko na naisama yung side trip naming 8 boys..hehe..ngayon ko lang naisama..after yun nung saturday..nung nagliligpitan na..ayun..we took "the shortcut.." pikchuran galore! wahahaha..

ayon nga..i personally enjoyed that mission trip..it was really something else..it may have been the same place..but it definitely wasn't the same thing that happened..the LORD moves in mysterious ways..all we can do is follow..as the title of this post says..VICTORY IN BROKENNESS..i was really broken..mula sa school hanggang sa mission trip..i learned talaga na unless we are broken..we cannot be molded anew..we have to understand that brokenness is something we must not despise..in brokenness we are made whole..we have to really surrender to the LORD everything if we truly desire to be broken..as glass is broken and melted in the fire..we have to be the same..we have to be as a glass vessel that is broken and melted in the fire of God so that we can be molded into a finer vessel..as we go through this process, we are continually being refined into the perfect vessel that we are meant to be..Glory to God!

Brokenness is very painful..i know..i've been through it..and i'm sure you have been as well..if not..then..it'll come in His time..sa totoo lang..hanggang sa ngayon..as i type, i feel that brokenness inside..another part of me is being broken..it truly hurts..because it removes the bad part of our lives-the parts that we do not want touched..the bad parts that we got used to..those things that feel right but are really wrong..even with the pain and suffering that i have to endure and must endure..i do believe that one day..i will be one of those perfect vessels..those vessels that have endured the fires of testing and the times of brokenness..those vessels that have stood the test of time and have been perfected, fit for the Master's use..Hallelujah!

As we are being broken, whether it be in the spiritual or in the natural, let us learn that "If the LORD delights in a man's way, He makes his steps firm; though he stumble, he will not fall, for the LORD upholds him with His hand.." Psalm 37:23-24..This was and still is His word for me as I went through the 1st semester until the mission trip..may it be a blessing and encouragement..God Bless You, Reader..

WAW..

2007-10-31T12:05:00.000+08:00

creepy, old blog na ata 'tong blog na 'to..August pa ang hui kong post..'di bale..mahaba ang kasunod neto..promise..

God Bless You, Reader..

Post Preliminary Examinations..

2007-08-29T14:59:00.000+08:00

"Keep my soul, and deliver me; let me not be ashamed, for I put my trust in You."

-Psa 25:20

Eto ung verse na ipinakita saken ni Lord through e-Sword..i just thought of reading the Word of the Lord through it..and so..ayan..naka-load ang Psalms 25..talagang si Lord ang gumagawa ng paraan para ipadala Niya ang words Niya..Thank You, Lord..

ayan..natapos na rin ang prelims..after much delay..natapos na rin..at least ung exams nung sa lecture..hehe..and..nakuha na rin namen ung results nung iba..and i really thank the Lord for His grace..talagang si Lord lang..

to start off, sa PGC (Philippine Government and Constitution), 83% ung rating ng score ko..so that's more than the minimum requirement..at nagkataon pa na sa exam na yun e andaming kelangan i-memorize..sa EE201, ay eto na po..eto ung subject na as in lubog ang aking status..na magmula nung 1st quiz hanggang kanina (bago ko makuha ung paper), e kinakabahan ako..pero the Lord's mercy is without end..i got a good score na talaga namang humila sa aking previous average..from "nil and no heartbeat" to a "near 50-50 chance" of passing and surviving..a little more effort sa mga following quizzes and i will have passed the subject..

Mechanics..the 5-unit subject.. 1/4 of our total load..alanganin na grade (pero mas maganda ang status nito kesa dun sa EE201)..after receiving the Prelim Exam paper..whoo..hinila ang grade ko paakyat.. although 62/100, it's enough..i could have gotten a higher score kung hindi ko sana binura ung isang solution..pero that's another story..haha..what's important is that the Lord is continuously helping me get up..pero that's not all sa subject na 'to..

All glory, honor, and praises to the amazing Lord!! Talagang kamay Niya yung nagsusulat nung Quiz 3 namen dito..the results came in late, kasi..kaya kanina lang namin nakuha..so nagsusulat ako, minding my own business..biglang tinawag ako..so siyempre wala akong kamuwang-muwang sa nangyayari..so kinalabit nila ako..punta ako sa harap..tapos na-realize ko na yung quiz 3 pala un..and then biglang may nagtanong sa prof about the quiz..tapos ang naintindihan ko na lang sa response ng prof e something like "yes, he got a perfect score.." so syempre masaya ako kasi alam ko na mahihila pa ang grade ko paakyat..and then syempre, saying out loud, "Thank You, Lord..!"

It's only by His grace that we can stand..dito talaga sa mga few exams na ito e nakita ko na praying really is key..i prayed to God na Siya ang tumulong saken..and He really is faithful.. all you need..all i needed pala talaga..was faith..a step of faith..and then another..

May this be an encouragement to anyone and everyone who reads it..this may not be the same situation you're in..but what's important is the thought that all we need is the Lord..God Bless You, Reader..

2007-08-04T22:50:00.000+08:00

haaaaayy..grabe na 'to..inaagnas na ang blog ko..haha..hirap na talaga pag onti nlng tym mo for these things..hehe..pero i'm not saying naman na ayoko na gumawa ng ganito..wala lng talaga time..buti ngayon mejo nakasingit singit sa kuya..hehe..

sa totoo lang, dami ko talaga updates..well..ung mga sumunod ko na quizzes e mejo naging ok naman na..ata..except for 2..talagang struggle parin..hehe..pero i believe that God is working something out for me..sabi nga diba.."All things work together for good for those who love God.."

kaya i stand by His grace and mercy na makakabawi ako sa mga ibang subjects, although alam ko na magiging mahirap..siyempre, it's a lot easier to say na balansihin ko kesa gawin ko..in reality, mahirap talaga..time management is something that you don't learn in a day or two..it really takes a lot of experience to be able to do it..sa dami ng experiences ko e mukhang kulang pa..hehe..

sa school..as i said..ok naman na ung iba..mejo nagiging stable na..this coming monday e may review classes/sessions para samen..at siyempre..pupunta ako..kasi i'm really gonna need all the help i can get from our seniors..3rd year na e..masarap man sabihin, ang hirap naman ng challenges..pero that's the whole point..college wouldn't be college without the hardships, specifically the major subjects na talagang kelangan mong tutukan..college wouldn't college kung magiging madali..well..sa totoo lang e sana nga talaga e mas madali..kasi pag nagku-kwento ung mga prof namen e parang andali ng college para sa kanila..siyempre..inde nawala ung bigla ko naisip: "sana katulad ko sila..parang mga hindi nahirapan sa college.."

well..things have changed..kaya nga mas mahirap e..kasi mas maraming mga "kalaban.." tv, laboy, a cozy bed, tambay and the like..kaya..ang hirap din..that's why inde pwede ung pagpapayabang na kaya ko ang college..without God..nakow..goodbye happy times..hello summer classes ang bagsak ko..hehe..thankfully e inde pa naman ako nagkakaroon ng ganun na episode sa buhay ko..hehe..glory to God..

just turned 18! yey! thank you, Lord, for another year na naidagdag sa buhay ko..hehe..ngayon e legal na ako..hehe..no curfew, etc..hehe..ayos..sabay ganun e no..salamat po pala sa mga bumati at naka alala..hehe..i really appreciated them..kasi alam ko sa sarili ko na kahit papaano e i'm remembered..hehe..senti..nyahahaha!

pero syempre, may mga dagdag na responsibilities yan..inde ko pa man nakikita e, makikita ko rin yan..hehe..Glory to God for everything He has given, is giving, and will give to me..whether material or not..if it's from God, then it must be good..Hallelujah for the Lord's faithfulness..

*yawn*ayan..nako..mejo inaantok na ako..hehe..dami ko pa maikukwento pero..dito na muna..hehe..back up pa ako for tomorrow's service e..i have to prepare din..God Bless You, Reader..

Saglit lang..

2007-07-19T23:33:00.000+08:00

Hehe..sasaglit lang po ako sa blog ko..hehe..it's been quite a while since i last posted here..eto na uli..kaso maikli lang kasi matutulog na 'ko..hehe..

A lot of things have happened since AY 07-08 started..well for one thing nag-aaral na ako ngayon..haha..yup..nag aaral na ako ngayon..tama yun..ibig sabihin nun dati talaga e, well nag-aaral pero inde ganito ka-frequent at hindi ganito ka seryoso na umabot sa point na kahit may bisita e sige lang ako sa aral..hehe..buti na lang at sila niko, joy at shiella lng ung mga un..hehe..kung mejo bigatin..aba tigil aral ako..hehe..

ayun..about my quizzes..as i have said nung isang Monday Night Out, laglagan ang aking mga quizzes..ung mga 1st major quizzes ko sa mga subjects ko e honestly isa lang ang pumasa..yup..PGC was the only 1st Quiz that I passed..and that was the time when i totally as in totally forgot that we had a quiz for the day..so i had no choice but take the exam..i skimmed a few pages off my notebook and our textbook..and by skimming i mean allotting less than 5 seconds for a single page..and by a few pages i mean 5 would be the maximum..and then..a miracle just happened..the day we were allowed to see our papers..which were arranged from highest to lowest..(of course expected ko nang mejo matatagalan bago ako matawag..) And glory to God because i was able to get a passing score..25/45..and technically, that's above most of my classmates' scores..of course all Glory to God for that! inde na ako nakapag-aral pero ipinasa Niya ako..maybe because sabi ni Lord e "Joshua has seen enough failing quizzes..here's a surprise for him.." Thank you Lord..inde na nga nag-aral..nakapasa pa..2nd quiz on Mechanics was a pass..52/100..at least my average got higher..haha..as for the others..still have to work on them..haha..

ayan napapahaba..anyway..onti nlng..my schedule has been arranged, so i'm quite thankful because i don't feel too "loaded" right now..i'm still able to study..and i'm able to answer in class..at times..i thank God for that..

life has been getting a little rough..3rd year na kasi e..but that's how God planned it for me..and i'm following it..sabi nga e.."No other best exceeds God's best.."

Hallelujah for that..! Thank You Lord, for everything..

i pray that this post can become an encouragement to those few who are able to read this blog..^_^ God Bless You, Reader..

Before School Starts..

2007-06-06T00:14:00.000+08:00

yep..the title says it all..baka pag may pasok na e..ayun..inde na ako masyado makapag-post..so..ayan..

just soooo thankful kay Lord..it's just amazing to see the Lord working sa vacation ko..mula pa talaga nung simula ng year..He's given me a lot..sakto lagi ang timing ni Lord..syempre diba..si Lord un e..^_^

start of the year..binulaga ako ng exams..na mejo nakaka-down..nung mga panahon na yun e was already having thoughts of summer classes..but still..nakakagulat na the day after sabihin ko na "wala na.." e biglang lakas loob ko na sasabihin naman na "kaya pa 'to!" paulit-ulit..such an encouragement in the midst of adversity e..oo nga hindi nga ako nakasama sa Singapore..nakapasa naman ako ng 2nd year..all through God's grace..tulad nga ng sinabi ko sa previous posts..nakabawas sa gastos un!

Inayos ni Lord yung schedule ng kuhaan ng clearance..april 2..no conflict with camp whatsoever..so mas focused ako nun..kasi syempre dun ko nalaman na pumasa ako sa Physics and all the others..Glory to God! He gave a fresh anointing nung camp, which was such an enjoyable 5 days for me (kasi advanced party ako..), although to some degree e may frustration pa rin..hehe..so after nun..looking forward to DVBS and Mission Trip '07..

in between, He led me to read The Final Quest..through that book, i believe that He increased my wisdom to a certain degree..and i thank Him for that..it really is something..

DVBS preparations..onting pamomroblema sa materials, etc..we prayed for it..and so it was..si Lord ang nag-provide ng lahat ng materials..sumobra pa! He provided the strength and endurance para tumagal ako sa DVBS part 1 & 2..hehe..tapos kahit papaano e nakapahinga ako nung Family Day..hehe..

I prayed for the Lord's provision para sa Mission Trip..kasi siyempre mahirap nang humingi..and the Lord gave more than enough! nakasama ako! and may binago nanaman Siya saken..for the better, of course..enjoy ang mission trip!

I prayed for a good scheduling ng pre sectioning and enrollment..aba..June 5 ang pre sectioning and enrollment..so far so good 'di ba..!

Of course, hindi mawawala ung prayers ko para sa tuition, etc..in other words..provision for the coming semester..and indeed He is the Great Provider..ayan na..i'm enrolled..fully paid na ang school fees..maganda ang schedule ng section namin..

All glory, honor, power, and praises belong to the LORD! He has been and will be my Provider, my Strength, and everything that I need..He has been and will be faithful to provide for all our needs according to His riches and glory..and the keys: PRAYER and FAITH..

I pray that you be inspired..not by my consistency in prayer or my strong faith, or by what i have received through these..but by the power of the Lord our God and my testimony of His greatness..God Bless You, Reader..

Mission Trip '07: Guinayangan, Quezon..

2007-06-02T08:15:00.000+08:00

hey! whaddyah know! it's saturday! youth fellowship day! yey! & since it's saturday..gagawin ko na ung post ko about da mission trip! pag nag pasukan na, wla na..mahirap na..kaya ngayon ko na gagawin! hahaha! thank you Lord!

ok ok..grabe ung excitement..haha..teka..sisimulan ko sa Sunday..haha..so ayun nga..nung sunday.. Family Day part 2 ng MZCF..so dami tao, etc..buti na nga lang at si kuya Ge ay anjan at nakapahinga ako from PA duty..haha..duty e no..so bawi ako onting tulog sa Youth Hang Out..tapos..pasok sa loob ng church..kwentuhan kame dun..tawanan..siyempre iniisip ko din ung BS ko..kasi siyempre i have to prepare din para sa ituturo ko..kasi ang susunod ko nang BS e May 29 na ulet since nga diba mission trip..

Monday..MOA day! haha..! may special treat daw ang mga teachers and crew ng VBS..xmpre sama ako dun! teacher ako e..hahaha..! so laboy onti..kahit inde ganung ka exciting..kasi palakad-lakad lang kame..at kung inde lang kami gutom e pinabayaan na namen sila e..hehe..buti na lang mga gutom din pala sila..aun..Jollibee..haha..tapos uwi na..ang matindi lang nun e traffic..kaya todo late kame ni kuya PJ sa YL meeting..haha..buti na lang sa church ginawa..hihi..practices na nun kaya mejo feel ko na ang simoy ng mission trip..haha..kinakabahan and at the same time e excited..haha!

Tuesday..woooohhh! lapet na..! kasi 12 am kami aalis..so Wednesday na un..eniwei..at least nakikita ko na nun na..hey! totoo na 'to! lapit na! waaaaaawwww..so mejo cramming na kung ano..sakto 12am..dumating ang bus..akalain mo nga naman..ang galing ni manong driber..haha..load da stuff..and we're off!

Wednesday..we arrive sa RCCM..aba ang ganda ng sanctuary..honest..tiles ung loob..basta ganda..so rest kame..mejo hirap nga e kasi ang init..tapos onting practices..kain..ligo..gabi na! it's da first nyt na! presentations..! grabe kinakabahan talaga ako nun..haha..pero siyempre all things work together for good..si tito rey ang nag-speak..nakakagulat nga kasi alang nag-respond sa altar call..sa call of salvation oo..ung sa isa pa..wala..pero go pa rin! kasi God is the One who's working here..not us..so glory to God pa rin for the 1st nyt..sleep sa aming tent na andaming bato sa ilalim..pero before that..kape muna! haha! kaya inde ako makatulog ng maayos! haha..buti na lang inde ako ung last na nagising! haha..

Thursday..ok..sabi ni tita oss..tuluy-tuloy ang gagawin namen..so onti lang ang rest..so mejo ready ready ako..hehe..worship..and then si tita Oss ang nag speak..about Buhay ng Pagsamba, Buhay na Pagsamba..it really is a challenge for everyone to really seek God and worship Him in everything we do..hehe..un naman ung shinare ko nung divided sessions..Glory to God for notes! haha..inde ko nga lang akalain na ako pala ang magtuturo sa Cell na un for the first and last tym..kasi nung hapon, after nung Word, nagkaroon ng challenge and altar call..at syempre with that comes the cancellation op da divided sessions for the afternoon..ai teka..before that pala..ung workshop muna..para sa vocals, guitar, keyboard, cymbals and creative arts..so assistant ako ni kuya mao..kaya ala mxado rest..hehe..inaantok pa ako nung mga oras na nagwo-worship..hehe..Lord sori po! kinagabihan..presentations ulet! grabe! ung mga presentations na iba e talaga namang inde ko inaasahang uusbong ng ganun-ganun..hehe..all glory to God for His grace na after mag speak ni ate imee e may mga nag-respond..so parang..this is where it begins..thank You, Lord! Siya talaga nag kumikilos sa mission trip! kinagabihan..mejo puyatan kme..why? kasi ung The Mission na hand mime e ginawa pa namin! glory to God at ntapos kame before 12..hehehehe..sinundo pa nga kaming mga boys e..kasi dun kami sa bahay matutulog.......ai o nga pala..! i forgot to mention na thursday noon e umulan at nabasa ang tent..including some of our stuff..! kaya nilabas namen lahat..tapos namroblema kame kung san kame sleep..so dun na lang daw kami sa salas ng bahay na nirentahan..haha..sosy kame! nyahahaha! and for the rest of the trip e dun kame natulog..hehe..sarap ba..? hehe..

Friday..so it's friday..already?! parang nung wednesday lang e iniisip ko e "2 days..mahaba haba pa itong mission trip.." aba Friday na agad?! ambilis! after nung Word ulet..aba..altar call nanaman..so sabi ko kay Niko, who was my co-leader sa cell na hawak namen, aba "nakalusot" ka nanaman ha..pero ok lang syempre..kasi si Lord ang kumikilos..inde ang tao..prayers were all about that morning..and afterwards..nag announce si tita oss na wala daw muna workshops..sabi ko naman sa sarili ko..YES! rest! at last! tapos biglang..toink..natigilan ako..sumagi bigla sa isip ko..ai..teka..baka practice ito for later a..and whaddyah know..tama ako..walang rest! NNNOOOOOOO! hahaha..jowk..ok lng..naging masaya naman ung practices e..hehe..nakakatuwa nga e.. ansaya namen..tapos banat na sa afternoon session..altar call ulet after the Word! the Lord is really doing a quick work! Divine order was ptr. Joe's message..and to have the Lord's presence in our lives, we must have divine order..and that was the prayer for the young people..pati na rin sa mga pastors ng churches sa guinayangan..and prayers were again in the air..nakaka ubos nga ng boses e..hehe..pero ok lng..crying out to the Lord is something that i'd exchange my voice for..buti na lang si Lord ang Restorer..at na restore naman, although not entirely, yung boses ko..thank You Lord for Your miracles..

That night..was never to be the same for everyone..si kuya aaron ang nagsalita nun..and the Lord's challenge through kuya A was really something..that night was something to glorify God about! breakthrough! after fervent prayer, na break din ang chains ng enemy..! kaya talagang rejoicing sa loob ng church! and i'm sure e sa heaven ganun din..halellujah for the Lord our God!

Saturday.. fun day! in other words..basaan day! hahaha! ansaya nung games..lalo na ung basaan part..enjoy kasi mainit ung panahon..so halos lahat kame e basa..buti nga tubig lang..inde slime..haha..tapos kain and at long last! pahinga!!!! rest!!!! tambay buong maghapon..pero siyempre, a little adventure won't hurt..so punta kame sa dagat..kaming mga boys..hehe..sadly e inde na kami kumpleto since ung iba e umalis na agad papunta sa ibang lugar para mag minister the next day..so mejo onti na lang kami..pero nevertheless..ganda pa rin nung dagat..nakaka miss nga e..kasi enjoy kami dun kahit na naglambitin ako dun sa tulay at si jil e nanakit ung balikat kasi nabigla..on the same bridge..hehe..kung pwede lng tlga e senti mode kami dun e..kaso we had to go..but not without a few good pics and vids, siyempre! hahaha..pag uwi namen..aba..ang girls din e umalis..pumunta sa fishport..so antagal nila..hehe..ala kame kasama dun sa sanctuary..so dun kami sa labas..kwentuhan with the other boys of RCCM na andun pa pala sa labas..pag uwi nung iba..practice na..tapos bolahan wid kuya PJ..dami nila natutunan na kalokohan..syempre sawsaw din ako dun..kasi inde nila ma-gets pag si kuya PJ ang nagpapalaro..hehe..ako ginawa ko nang obvious..hehe..tapos late dinner..wid matching senti mode pa ung iba..hahaha..tpos sleep na..kasi kinabukasan e magmi-minister pa kame sa Sunday Service nila..si Raulffy ang 1st kbord, si ate kaye ang worship leader, and the rest..random jobs..hehe..

Sunday..aaawww..uuwi na kami ng 2pm! nooooo! pwede extend kahit hanggang monday..? hehehe..sayang inde pwede..hehe..ako nag 2nd keyboard sa worship..para masasalo si Raulffy just in case..hehe..Glory to God at may experience ako..pero siyempre i still follow his lead..tapos..isang masarap na tanghalian ang sumalubong samen! hipon na pagkadami-dami at..ampalaya! ewan ko kung anong luto yun basta masarap..hehe..may hipon chaka sitaw naman e..kaya nakakain din ako nun..akalain mo ampalaya kakainin ko?! hehehe..sa bagay kahit ung kare-kare na inulam namen nung saturday afternoon e napakain din tlga ako e..nyahahaha..! yan ang gusto ko sa mission trips e..napapakain ako ng kung anu-ano..hahaha!

nung pauwi na..aba..sinalubong pa ako ng isa pang nakakaasar na bagay..nanakit ung ngipin ko..as in..masakit..sabi nga nila diba sakit ng ngipin, sakit ng buong katawan..aba napatunayan ko nga tlga na totoo..talagang inde ako makakilos ng maayos..buti na lang at nawala din nung paalis na..pero nakakapang lambot un..grabe..hehe..and we were off..! Glory to God sa Mission Trip '07!

I am very thankful kay Lord na hinayaan nya ako na makasama sa mission trip..tapos Siya pa ung nag schedule ng presectioning ko para inde ko na alalahanin..He really works wonders..and nakita ko din sa sarili ko na na-increase din ung faith ko sa Kanya at yung vessel ko ay na-enlarge, to some degree..more and more, i'm becoming a better vessel..little by little, i am being transformed to become a vessel of Honor fit for the Master's use..Halellujah for the Lord's awesome work in all of our lives!

O nga pala..ung Word naman saken..na i am set apart to lead the Lord's people..pinag-pray din sa aken that the spirit of Joshua of the Bible would be come upon me..amen nga naman..the spirit of Joshua syempre na may leading ni Lord..yan ung parang summary..i can't remember everything..inde ko din kasi naisulat..hehe..pero what's important is that i know that the Lord is going to use me more and more..! Thank You Lord..!

God Bless You, Reader..

Rest muna..

2007-05-30T17:14:00.000+08:00

Para naman may maikli ako na post..hahaha..

pahinga muna ako sandali sa mga mahahaba at nobelang blog posts..mahaba ang mission trip..as in! at gagawa pa ako ng report..kaya..

^_^ next tym na ung sa mission trip..pero inde naman nalalayo..haha..

God Bless You, Reader..

VBS Muna..

2007-05-28T01:12:00.000+08:00

Grabe..antagal ko na inde nakakapost dito a..haha..VBS muna ang ikkwento ko..para naman mejo organized..hehehe..

thank You, LORD! grabe..talagang sinulit ang summer vacation ko..whew! nakakapagod pero nakaka-bless pa rin kasi alam ko na lalo ako ginagamit ni LORD..mapa-PA, pagtuturo, etc.. syempre..inde mawawala ung appreciation ko na mabigyan ulet ng opportunity to teach kids the Word of God thru VBS..at thankfully e mas "matatanda" na ung tinuruan ko..so mejo maa-apply ko na ung onting higpit..onting lalim ng words..kasi naiintindihan na nila un..ganun..hehe..

the week before..sa totoo lang e..mejo relax pa 'ko..nawala sa isip ko na..hey..i'm da teacher..ako nga pala dapat ang nagpe-prepare ng ipapagawa namen na crafts..and yet..ala pa ako sinimulan..buti nalang si sheila at si kuya jay-r ang kasama ko..so mejo cram kame..pero thank God at nagawa namen un with room to spare..hehehehe..kahit onti..

so first day..xempre onting counter-check ng registration chaka update..so mejo kain oras un..mejo lang..tapos naglipatan pa ng students..so nadagdagan ako ng 10..buti na lang at naituro ko pa rin ng maayos ang Humility..which is the highest rank lang naman sa Heaven..so pano un..hehe..all thanks to God, syempre..salamat sa magkapatid na Tandayu at naayos naman ang mga bagay-bagay..hehehe..tulad ng sabi ko..with room to spare..nagawa ko pa magpalaro..report kay ninang, este Director/Superintendent Agnes..

2nd day..si sheila ang nagturo..so rest ako..dahil mejo hirap magsalita ng ganun ganun..asikaso ng iba pang "paper works.." observe pa..tapos mejo prepare ng crafts..sa totoo lang inde ko maalala kung kelan namen itinuro ung dance steps ng "High Road.." hehe..singit e no..aun..mejo napalalim nga si sheila e..hehe..chaka mejo uuhh..daming english words na ginamit..so ewan ko kung na-gets agad nung ibang kids..hehehe..peace..

3rd day..ambilis e no..hehe..last day ko na ako ang magtuturo..so mejo sulitan 'to..since ang topic is about faithfulness..mejo hirap ituro sa age bracket nila..pero by the grace of God..nakuha naman ata nila..and with the Lord's help..na-receive nila ang gift of salvation..halellujah! tapos..games ulet! dalawa pa, kamo! kaya mejo namaos ako..hehe..pero enjoy nmn nila..and so the day ends..so to speak..

4th day..si sheila ang nagturo..so pahinga na ako..mejo stable na rin ang mga paper works at ang klase..so not much to talk about..nagpagawa kame ng crafts na mejo makalat din..hehe..inde nila natapos kaya ayun..sabi namen..tuloy nila bukas..

5th day..grad day na..masaya na mejo malungkot..syempre..inde na kame magtuturo..so parang rest na..malungkot in the sense na parang ang sarap din magturo sa kanila.. masaya kasi graduates na sila pagdating ng hapon..kasi nung umaga..si kuya Jay ang nagturo about forgiveness..tapos tinuloy nung mga bata ung craft nila..buti na nga lang at group work yun..kaya sige lang sila..pabayaan na lang..hehe..sabay ganun e no.. buti naman at natapos nila..

GRADUATION..ten tenen..hehe..nakakabless tlga na makita mong gumradweyt ang students mo..kahit ba VBS e..ung makita mo ung smiles nila na masaya nilang kinukuha ung certificate na nakadikit ung mga awards..so ako ang nagtawag..and then bigay ng magkapatid na Tandayu..sarap basahin at pakinggan ng nakukuha nilang awards e..nakakatuwa tlga..thank You, Lord for those children..

nakaka bless tlga sila..kahit na mga 10-11 year olds..totoo nga talaga ung sinabi ni Jesus sa Bible about letting children come unto Him..it truly is something..

Glory to God for VBS..

tapos on to VBS Vergara!

kahit 2 days lng nagturo..ok pa rin..kahit na inde ko na-feel ung participation..mas mahalaga na may naitanim sa hearts nila..one way or another..kahit mejo rush..drastic..ok pa rin..ang alam ko lang e si Lord ang nagwo-work sa mga ganung situations..it was enough for me..kaya go pa rin ako..!

and it was truly worth the time na may natanim sa kanila..kasi alam ko..darating ung araw..tutubo ung naitanim namen..

hindi kamote un ha..Word of God un.. ^_^

God Bless You, Reader..

Guinyangan, here we come!

2007-05-02T17:10:00.000+08:00

Yeah..I'm soooo thankful kay Lord.. it really was His work na magkaroon ako ng chance na makasama sa mission trip..ulet! although i'm not yet 100% sure..hehe..magpapaalam pa ako sa mga kataas-taasan e..

Onting background..ok ok..ganito un..syempre nung Gapo conventions..i was really hoping na kahit papaano e makasma ako..at syempre..plan naman ni Lord lahat..kaya inde na nya ako binigyan ng chance..which is why i, or we, so to speak, aimed to be able to join the team para sa Guinyangan Mission Trip..it was still quite a long way to go, since march pa lang nun, and the mission trip wasn't until april..so hinde ko muna masyado pinagtuunan ng pansin since i still had studies to get to..

And truly it was God's grace na hindi ako nakasama sa Gapo dahil kung sumama pala ako, e i might not be able to go to Guinyangan plus additional gastos..it turned out kasi na ang Gapo week e parang last week for reviews na for us..and syempre may mga kasamang quizzes yun..kung ipinilit ko pala e baka nagsa-summer ako ngayon dahil sa bagsak ang calculus & physics..kasi po e tagilid parehas..at mahirap na ang mag-summer..pag taga-UST..magastos.. very..very..tapos e kung ung ginastos pa kung sakali nun for Gapo ko..e di anlaking pera ang nawala..so it was all part of God's plan..

so ngayon, although inde ako nakapag-Gapo (cause there's always next tym.. ^_^), at least inde na kami gumastos para dun..which could have been a lot as well..at inde naman kami gumastos para sa schooling ko..dahil nga diba nakapasa ako on both calculus and physics! All GLORY AND PRAISES TALAGA KAY LORD!!

tapos ngayon naman, si Lord ang nagpadala ng pang Guinyangan ko through a churchmate.. actually dumaan pa yun sa konting biruan last sunday, april 29.. hehe..tapos naibigay sa akin May 1..o diba..at the start of the month e may provision si Lord, which in fact, was my mom's prayer na pagkalakas-lakas ang pagkakasabi..sa bahay lang naman..para bang sabi niya e maghintay daw kami ng blessing for the day para may panggastos or something..and then naging mala-prayer na parang "Lord i-bless mo po kami para may pambili ng mga ganito at ganyan.." at ganun nga ang ginawa ni Lord! Halellujah!

(sa lagay na yan, onting background pa lang talaga yan..)
in short, may pang Guinyangan na ako, with matching pocket money..kahit papaano.. at magpapaalam na lang kami and it's all set!

pero before that, VBS muna..haha..next week..

The Lord really makes things work together for good.. ^_^

God Bless You, Reader..

CAMP and all that GREATNESS!!

2007-04-08T16:04:00.000+08:00

GGGGGRRRRRAAAAABBBBBEEEEE!!!!!

To the max yung FMCC Camp '07..just got home..at sobra-sobra ang pagod ng katawan ko.. my strength was still not enough.. but the LORD's strength was more than enough! I feel sooooooooooooooo refreshed after the Lord's mighty move sa camp.. And the happenins' really lived up to its theme: The FIRE of GOD.. it's just amazing what the Lord can do if you surrender to His will and if you yield to the move of the Holy Spirit..

Words are really not enough to describe the Lord's presence.. but what i know is that IT WAS AMAZING!! Hallelujah for His glory and power..!!

Simulan na ang kwentong ga-nobela..

To start off, advanced party ako..hindi un ung mga tao na nagpa-party ng mas maaga kesa sa celebrator (unang akala ko nung bata pa 'ko).. un ung mga nauuna sa site for preparations.. at talaga nga naman na mejo hectic na ang sched ko nun..kahit 'la nmn na ako pasok.. so kinalas ko at lahat ung P.A. at ung mga iba pa na pwedeng ayusin.. Tuesday - nakuha ko na ung clearance ko and thank God at nakapasa nga ako sa lahat.. so no more worries para sa camp..ala na ung burden of summer classes! oh yeah..that's right! so..mejo prepare-prepare na 'ko ng gamit ko..like clothes..utensils..etc. dahil mahirap na ang mahuli sa ayusan.. napilitan pa 'ko maglaba nun..hehe..yes..

Wednesday..the day has come! aalis na kame..after mag-prepare..at hindi pa 'ko fully prepared.. dahil wala pang strings ang aking remedied guitar.. at andami pang kinalas ni kuya arjun..na mga wires, etc..kaya kamuntik-muntikan na 'kong inde makabili ng strings..naman..siyempre kelangan ng gitara sa camp, no.. at matapos kong madaliin na mabili ung strings ko (naulanan pa ko nun..), tuloy na ang final preparations..aba at akalain mo nga naman.. minamadali na rin ako.. kaya nakakaasar mang isipin..may mga naiwan akong gamit..bummer tlga..pero sige lang..andun na kame e..kesa naman ipahatid ko on the same day diba..so mejo tiis na lang muna.. kahit mahirap..kung gusto mo malaman, ang naiwan ko lang naman e ung aking "essential" mp3 player..hirap din no.. tapos andun pa yung battery ko na isa.. kaya inde ko ma-charge yung dala ko na kapartner nun..kaya ayun..tiis nlng.. kinahapunan..sa wakas e tumunog na rin ang Sound System.. kala ko magtatagal pa kami dun e..tapos kain na! ng Spanish Sardines! ansarap grabe! ang mejo masaklap lang nung wednesday.. all we were left to do was wait for da tomorrow na pagkatagal-tagal dumating kasi inde kami inaantok habang nagbabantay!! kaya, punta ako sa kanila ninang janette.. at humingi ako ng fud.. ang matindi nun.. ayaw ako paalisin..so dun muna 'ko sa tent nila..kwentuhan kame..hehe..iniwan ko si kuya Ge' dun sa auditorium..hehe.. pero pagbalik ko naman e may tent na sa loob ng auditorium..kaya may tulugan na kame! iwas lamok lang..hehe..ang dagdag pa dun e ung insect repellant spray..na expired..aba akalain mo nga naman..gumagana pa..! so ayun..kwentuhan kami ni kuya gerald ng hanggang 12am..tapos tulog..

Thursday - CAMP DAY, AT LAST..! pero hintay pa rin kame..at sa wakas e nagdatingan na sila..one by one.. i mean vehicle by vehicle.. and before i knew it..pagpunta ko sa camp site e nag usbungan na ng parang kabute yung mga tents..'stig nga e..hehe.. and the Camp was officially opened after nung prayer for the camp.. rules were laid out, etc.. afterwards, youth naman yung nag-organize..so the different young people were separated into groups.. tapos nag-assign ng mga leaders.. buti nlng co-leader ako ni Ate Kaye..hehe..so ayun..Youth Cells #1.. rest.. and by rest i mean bantay ako sa auditorium.. bantay ako sa mga gamit dun.. which went on until the camp ended, sa totoo lang.. so ayun.. may pumalit naman sakin, thank God.. tapos ligo.. tapos kain.. tapos Revival Night..and truly it was..preach si Rev. Dennis Teague..actually may mga kasama siya..so team sila..na talaga nga namang blessings 'til the end of camp..grabe na ito..so ayun.. pinag-pray ung iba't ibang mga tao..under specific conditions/positions.. at talaga nga naman na blessing.. so ayun.. tulog ako sa auditorium after all was said and done..hehe.. latag ng kutson..kumot..unan..Bible..ayun..aral muna ng ishe-share sa Youth Cell namin..

Friday - (grabe haba na neto a!) gising ako ng maaga..so ayun..pray at basa ng Bible.. abang ng pupunta sa auditorium para naman makapunta ako for devotions sa youth ng MZCF..so ayun.. tapos prepare ako for any activities na mangangailangan ng Hall.. at ayun na nga.. may session pala kami..and afterwards..uuuhh..teka..teka lang..uuuhhh..aaah! Youth Cells.. jan gumana yung binigay ni Lord na Word para sa group namin..by the way, Kindness ang pangalan ng group namin.. so ayun.. mejo kinabahan pa talaga ako nung mga panahon na yon..kasi nga i'm going to be talking/speaking to young people who are older than me..or ka-age ko lang.. 17-19 kasi ang age bracket na hawak namen..so mejo kinakabahan..but thank the Lord's grace kasi Siya talaga yung nagsasalita nung mga oras na yun.. and glory to Him for His victory and the substance of His Word..tapos free time! ayon..tama..kaya nung free time..inde ako free..nasa auditorium ako nun..tama nga ba..? oo yata..hehe.. tapos isang matinding Revival night ang sumalubong..grabe ang worship! talagang basking in His presence is refreshing..exhausting, for the body, but refreshing for the soul & spirit..ibang klase yung presence ni Lord! talagang sigawan, talunan, taasan ng kamay, palakpakan! talagang wwwwwwwwwwwwwhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwww!!!

Saturday - (wwwwwwwwwwwwwhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaatttttttt???! ambilis ng oras!) aba talaga nga namang ang bungad ng araw e Youth Cell..8am YC na agad..buti nlng si ate kaye ang magtuturo..hehe..pero games muna! at nagkataon na ang saya-saya ng aming group! seriously! grabe nakakatuwa sila na kasama! Go Kindness Group!! yeah!! pero i really learned dun na we have to have the fire of knowing and obeying God.. it's all part of the sacrifice..mamaya ko na lang idi-discuss yung mga natutunan ko..hehe..pero pramis..andami..so ayun.. after ng sharing.. parusahan time! yung mga natalo sa games namen..kinanta ang BEAM song..nang may kaharap..at nang hindi tumatawa..at nakakatawa sila!! wahehehe!! grabe na ito! hehe.. tapos.. prepare na ulet kame.. for YOUTH REVIVE! and when the HOLY SPIRIT moves, walang makapagsasabi talaga! and true enough..inde na nakapagshare si Ptr. Mike Oleis..worship lng talaga..and again..basking in His presence..tapos sila free time..kami naman sa Ministers and Workers' Forum..at muntik na kami (well actually late na kami) ma-late..kaya lang hindi kami late e kasi kami yung leaders..hehe..batas e no..daya..hehe..pero ayun..si Lord ulet yung nagsalita thru me..tapos pinag-pray namin isa-isa.. and then the tokens..courtesy of ate kaye (babawi din ako!)..hehe..tapos pirmahan and more tawanan at pictures..

At ang revival night..again..again..again..His presence was just so awesome! grabe na talaga! after ng worship..another call to be prayed for..pero ito iba na..dito talaga very evident ang falling of the fire of God.. so this is how it went..yung mga ministers/pastors/team nila Rev. Dennis..in two lines..magkakatapat..and then they formed the "tunnel of fire.." yung mga gusto maipag-pray dadaan sa loob..and then per pair..ipagpe-pray yung dadaan..hanggang sa dulo.. puwera na lang kung talagang ma-touch ng Holy Spirit at bumagsak..then..pull out na para makadaan ang iba..chaka para makapag-"personal time" sila with the Lord.. so ako naman..sige dalawang camera na ang dala ko..for video..and for snapshots..at talaga nga naman..ubusan ng battery or memory..which ever came first..sige lang..grabe ung haba nung pila! pero mas grabe ung presence..habang tumatagal..sumasarap..parang ganun..(parang beer un a..) pero grabe lang talaga..hebigats! so nung mejo maikli na at mejo nabawasan na yung ginagawa ko..nakipila na rin ako..and then..ayon..the Lord just filled me with His words and His presence..todo tongues and prayer..grabe.. ang sarap ng presence! tapos nung wala nang iba..yung mga ministers mismo e bagsakan din dahil sa presence thru prayer..ksi pinag-pray sila e..at ayun na nga! tumbahan din sila, tawanan (Holy Laughter), at iba pa.. tapos kantahan ulet! grabe..paguran talaga..pero it was worth the sweat and the exhaustion, if only to receive His blessing!

Sunday - (aaaaaayyyy..tapos na yung camp agad! bitin!!!! o hinde!) It's Resurrection Sunday.. so maaga kame..kaya hindi rin ako masyado nakatulog ng maayos..peroafter all was said and done, ayun.. officially closed na ang camp..then the baptism..at ligpitan blues..haaay..kalungkot lng kasi inde na ko naka-mingle with other youth..kasi pagod din chaka bantay ako sa Hall..pero ok lang.. yun yung sacrifice ko e..kaya sige ako..my sacrifice is for Him!! nakakapagod man.. it's all for His greater glory..at eto ko ngayon..pagod pero nagawa ko ung blog ko..hehe..thank God for His Goodness..Blessed be His great name FOREVER! HALLELUJAH!!

things i've learned naman.. when the Holy Spirit moves..walang makakapagsabi..when He wants us to worship..we better worship! the fire of knowing Him and Obeying Him with gladness are things that we must yearn for..kasi knowing the Lord is knowing His Love..knowing His sacrifice..and obeying Him is our response to His sacrifice..therefore, we get to follow His footsteps, and offer up our sacrfices as well..offering up our lives..our walk life, thought life, our character, the fat that is stored..and ourselves..offering up our time, our efforts..our comfort zones.. kasi we have to get out..just get out of those comfort zones that hinder us from letting go and offering up our sacrifices to God..if we get out, no matter the cost, no matter the circumstance, no matter what the future may hold, it is all in His hands..we just have to surrender to His will.. because it is the best for us..We must be fire that really burns..we should have the fire that is intense.. the heart that is not "lukewarm.." We must let the LORD's fire purify us and change us..we must be mature enough to offer up our sacrifices, even our greatest desires and passions..for the Lord to fill us and lead us..for His fire to purify and test us..for His fire to just burn and burn and burn in us..until we are wholly consumed..for His glory..for His honor..for Him..Hallelujah..For Jesus!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

may this be an encouragement and a blessing to us..God Bless You, Reader..

2007-04-04T09:49:00.000+08:00

Only by the Lord's grace can i be proud of my grades..! hehe.. i thank Him for His goodness kasi nakapasa na'ko sa Physics 205! kahit ba isang malaking 3.00 ang aking grade (dahil sa alam ko naman na un ung grade ko..), it's still enough to thank the Lord!

actually, pati integral calculus ko e 3.00 din, pero, it's still the Lord's mercy..and as for my other grades..

Computer Programming II - 2.5
Technical Communication - 1.25
Pagbasa at Pagsulat sa Iba't Ibang Disiplina - 1.75
NSTP Civic Welfare Training Service II - 1.0
Basic Volleyball - 1.0
Christian Ethics - 2.0
College Physics II (lab) - 2.0
General Psychology - 2.25

The Lord be blessed for His goodness..! God Bless You, Reader..

2007-03-31T00:29:00.000+08:00

waw..grabe..antagal ko nang hindi nagpo-post dito! hehe.. sa wakas!

maluwag na ang aking schedules..due to the fact na tapos na ang aming klase! oh yeah! that's right! pinagsawaan na kame ng mga prof, kaya ayun..hehe.. pero the semester did not end that well.. syempre as always, anjan ang mga exams at the end of the sem.. pero ung samen, iba.. grabe..

but still, I'm soooooooo thankful kay Lord at natapos na rin ang 2nd year! kahit na mahirap at talaga nga namang nosebleed at madugo, by His grace and mercy e.. i was able to last..

i thank Him kasi He's the one who gives me the strength to go on, kahit na minsan e sinasabi ko sa mga klasmeyts ko, "mga pare, summer 'to.." or "'di na kaya hilahin..pano na 'to?" pero kinabukasan naman, "GUYS, KAYA NATIN 'TO!" .. I thank Him kasi throughout the exams, e tinulungan Niya ako sa aralan..kahit na grueling ang exams.. whew.. nakalusot ako.. i was even amazed na nasagutan ko ung exams namin.. kahit hindi ako masyadong nakapag-aral.. it's all by His grace alone..!

Ngayon naman, ang hinihintay ko na lang e yung clearance day.. kasi dun ko pa lang malalaman ang results ng Physics ko.. at namen.. hehe.. kasi nung consultation, talagang downtrodden ako nang makita ko ang aking whopper grade.. malamang below the average/passing mark.. pero i was a bit relieved nang malaman ko na marami pang mas mababa ang grade kesa saken..! (na relieve pa e no..!) at sa hindi inaasahang pagkakataon ay ayaw sabihin ng aming prof ang passing grade..ayun nagalit at lahat.. sa clearance na lang daw malalaman.. kaya naman ako, e pray lang talaga kay Lord na ibigay Niya ulet sakin ung grace na yun na maipasa ko ang Physics.. kasi for one sayang ang time, money and effort, diba..? pero shempre a lot of the pressure is on me, kasi ako ung may kasalanan kung bakit tagilid ang grade ko..Only by grace and mercy can I stand..

Pero sa ibang subjects, I'm very very very very thankful kay Lord.. akala ko talaga pati yung Calculus ko e madadawit sa possibility of take two..! pero thank God talaga, nung consultation, ang grade ko ay napakalapit sa passing mark.. at ang maganda dun, papasa daw ako sabi ng prof kasi mataas naman daw ang final exam! thank You LORD!! mataas daw ang final exam..! kaya tlaga namang ALL GLORY TO HIM AND HIM ALONE! so isa na lang talaga..Physics..regarding sa ibang subjects, still all glory to Him alone for the victories!

ngayon, medyo nakakaluwag na ako.. although may bago nanaman akong problema.. yup! you guessed it! ang aking magaling na left foot..na napako last wednesday..ayoko na ikwento.. basta ang alam ko e masakit..hehe.. pero still.. His mercy and healing is always beside us.. kaya medyo ok naman na ang aking paa.. healing process na lang talaga..thank You, yet again, Lord! sa mga naitext at nag-pray, thank you din po! hehe..

Waw..grabe..excited na ako para sa camp! i can't wait for the fellowship and His awesome presence sa April 5-8..kaya.. i'm really looking forward to the camp! kahit na maraming kelangang asikasuhin at lahat para sa sound system..

ayan.. mahaba haba na rin yan..dito na muna..next tym na ung iba..inaantok na ako e..hehe..but before i end, isa pang THANK YOU LORD FOR EVERYTHING YOU'VE DONE FOR ME!!!! God Bless You, Reader..

Anger Management (at its worst)

2007-02-21T20:04:00.000+08:00

It's so super annoying kapag di mo ma-control yung galit mo.. nakaka-asar lang talaga na isang simpleng bagay e napagbuhusan ko ng galit.. my apologies to those affected..my fullest of apologies..it's a really tough job controlling yourself pag biglang nag-explode ang galit..

but I've prayed about it naman na.. and I thank the LORD's suuuuuuper fast response.. Ecclesiastes 3 covers it all.. nakakatuwa lang na ang bilis talaga ng response ni LORD.. biglang humupa yung galit ko.. all of a sudden e, biglang under control na.. thank you, LORD.. He continuously changes me into a better person..

God Bless You, Reader..

2007-02-07T13:42:00.000+08:00

Whew..pagod nanaman ako..

grabe..simula palang ng taon e nae-exhaust na kagad ako.. daming mga bagong responsibilities, projects, assignments, exams, paper, etc..Sa totoo lang, it's all getting a little bit crowdy sa utak ko..

perhaps, too many to handle na.. pero sabi nga ni Ptr. Edwin, "No sacrifice, no fire.." and it seems as though this is my sacrifice.. yung pagiging excessively exhausted ng katawan ko, not to mention my spirit..

pero I thank God kasi not only is He giving me a strong heart, but also a strong and enduring spirit to go with it.. i'm proud to have been given these.. pero it all comes with a price.. madaming bumubuhos sakin na weights.. weights that sometimes seem too heavy to bear for someone like me.. pahirapan na rin ngayon.. whew..

pero minsan kasi nagiging self-induced nalang e.. kaya nagiging mahirap din lalo.. i don't know kung maganda ba talaga o hindi ung nakasanayan ko na "tanggap lang ng tanggap hangga't kaya.." pero sa tingin ko nagagasgas na..hehe..

kasi on one side, it feels good na ma-appreciate sa pag tulong.. i don't mind it too much.. kahit ba kapaguran ko ang kapalit e, basta makatulong.. sa akin ganun.. ang ayaw ko lang e yun bang hindi na nakikita ng iba na mabigat na masyado.. yun bang sobra ang expectations sa isang katulad ko..

i admit, i'm not someone who you can ALWAYS rely on.. i've got my weak spots.. and i also admit na masyado na akong nagiging mayabang sa ginagawa ko na yan.. well, i have my reasons.. isa na siguro e kasi i sometimes feel overworked and underappreciated.. hindi naman sa gusto ko na lagi akong napupuri.. i know na mas maganda if you go unnoticed, for it's the LORD's job to reward me for what i do.. sa akin lang naman e yung pakinggan yung case ko.. even better if my side would be defended accordingly.. kaso that's where things get bad.. i'm always the guy whose below and behind.. ako ung kailangang maging mali.. or else hindi maaayos yung problema..

(senti mode ito..wahehehe..)

i've lived with that mindset.. and it's painfully hard.. pero that's where the LORD comes in.. i try to change.. with His help, syempre..it's a struggle, but I know that it's going to be worth it.. sa totoo lang, i feel empty kapag hindi ako nakakabasa ng kahit 2 encouraging sentences from His Word, the Bible.. para sa akin, it's enough to get me going again..

I do not see this post as something to bring much encouragement to you, reader.. I just want to pour out some things before it all boils down to something worse.. at least i release some, if not all, of the pain and hardships that this world brings..

I just pray that i can give you encouragement through this blog, if any does exist in its entirety.. God Bless You, Reader..

Examinations..nanaman..

2007-01-12T02:55:00.000+08:00

Well, as usual.. cram time na for a good number of students.. due to the fact that the Preliminary Examination Week is fast approaching..waw..english..hehe..

Ako, for one e, medyo nagsisimula nang mag-aral..dahil i can't afford na bumagsak pa.. pahirapan na din ngayon.. andaming mga terms, definitions, formulas, identities, etc.. it's really a tough job 'pag hindi ka sanay mag-aral..ako kasi ganun e..hehe..hindi sanay mag-aral a number of days before the examinations..

Natuto lang ako kasi may sabi sakin mag-focus muna.. 'wag ko daw muna isipin ung ibang bagay..and well..ganun na nga ang ginagawa ko..aba akalain mo..effective din pala..mas relaxed ako habang nag-aaral..thank You, Lord..natuto naman ako sa Integral Calculus..ang inaatupag ko ngayon, psychology naman..tapos physics na..ung mga formulas, etc..

"FOCUS"
Yup! tama nga si 'te Di.. kapag talaga inintindi mo yung mga bagay na hindi naman masyadong importante, nawawalan ng oras yung mga mas mahahalaga..hindi ko naman sinasabi na kakalimutan yung iba na yun..set aside lang..kaya nga sinabi sa Ecclesiastes na there is a time for everything..

Well, i guess ngayon oras muna para mag-aral at magkabisa ng mga kung anu-ano na dapat kabisaduhin..i have a lot of responsibilities..i have a lot to study and memorize, as well.. kaya extra effort..Nakakapagod, sa totoo lang..Burn Out ang bagsak ko nito..lalo na ngayon.. sapilitan na ang pagkakaroon ng additional schedules sa aking "already busy sched.." pero that doesn't mean na susuko na ako..

There's always a way out..Si Lord..Siya na bahala sa oras ko..sinabi Niya there's a time for everything..and I believe that..He's bigger than my responsibilities and obligations.. Thank You, Lord..

God Bless You, Reader..

Looking Back..

2007-01-01T04:25:00.000+08:00

Whew..the year 2006 has ended..andaming nangyari..so many things na mukhang hindi ko na talaga kayang sabihin lahat..The Lord has truly been gracious to me..

A number of number 5's that went with me throughout the year:
1. Youth Revive just turned 5..

2. The Lord continuously teaches me grace, whose number equivalent is 5..

3. Nabunot ko si Ate Grace sa Monito Monita sa YL Meeting..

4. I'm the 5th to be sharing sa YL Meeting on '07..

The Lord's grace always abounds whenever we need it..He gives us more than enough to conquer the giant..we just have to learn to use it..

"To whom much is given, much is required.."
Andami kong naging mga responsibilities and commitments na nakuha at ginawa this year..and I believe that God was behind all that..kahit na hindi ko na kaya, nagagawa ko paring lumaban, but not with my own strength but with the Strength from the Almighty God..He did it because He wanted to show His power through me..and I am very thankful na ginamit Niya ako for that purpose..

Magmula sa house responsibilities, school, hanggang sa church (dito marami e..)..He remained faithful enough to keep me standing..the pressure was beating down hard, but so was God's abundance of grace..One big step of faith siguro yung sa pagiging "Sound Eng'r" sa church..or more likely known as P.A. person..it's full of pressure kasi minsan kahit may kailangang gawin na personal, pag kailangan ng mago-operate ng P.A., halos hindi pwedeng wala ako..kasi wala nang ibang available other than ako..all glory to God for my availability..

Syempre hindi mawawala yung part na tatawag-tawagin ako kasi may gustong ipa-adjust or something..sometimes hindi related sa P.A., sometimes oo.. it's really exhausting, lalo na pag pabalik-balik ka..buti nalang at medyo angat ang stamina ko..hehe..

Hirap ding dalhin yung weight nung sakit na nararamdaman mo dahil sa akala mo ayaw kang pakinggan kahit tama na yung sinasabi mo, at yung ginagawa nila ay isang malaking aksaya lang ng lakas, laway, at yabang..pero i've learned that my pride doesn't solve the problem..Let them see their mistakes,kung mistakes yun..kung hindi parin..well..si Lord na ang bahala sa akin at sa kanila..i can't control their lives..but i want to let them to try to control mine, just so i can see and feel how they think..para lalo kong mapilit ang sarili ko na tanggapin na i can't always have my way..my ways aren't perfect, after all..that's why God put different people in my life..para matuto ako..kasi alam ko sa sarili ko na stubborn ako, pag dating sa ganyan..it's hard..pero if i can't learn the easy way, i have no choice but to take the rougher road..But who says the rougher road isn't the better one, diba?

"Philippians 4:13"
andami kong times na naranasang bumagsak at umiyak nalang kay Lord..that's right..literal na UMIYAK ako kay Lord..who says guys can't cry..? kay Lord naman e..he who kneels before God can stand up before men..that's why inilalapit ko kay Lord pag sa tingin ko e ubos na yung strength na nasa akin..pag seemingly hindi na talaga kaya..Lord!!!! and then He'd pick me up again..tapos takbo nanaman sa karera ng buhay..scratched, exhausted, bruised, broken, and weak..pawisan, lupaypay, nanghihina..pero still, tumatayo at nagpapatuloy..kasi strength na Niya ang ginagamit ko..kahit ako wala na..si Lord, hindi nauubusan..and that's what keeps me going..kung nakakayanan ko man ang mga dagok ng kaaway, e, dahil nalang yun kay Lord..He continues to provide me the patience hanggang sa umabot na ako sa kung anong haba meron ako ngayon..(mahaba na nga kaya??!!??) It may be hard to stretch patience..pero kaya nga anjan si Lord diba..

"1 Cor. 15:58"
akala ko minsan alang bunga yung ginagawa ko..they say: meron yan..hintayin mo lang..sa akin naman: hanggang kelan???!!..ang sagot: hanggang sa dumating..hindi balewala yan kung tama ang heart mo e..kung tama ang motives..and i've learned that anu mang hirap ang nakapasan sa mga balikat ko, hindi lang ako ang nagpasan at nagpapasan ng pabigat..Christ carried the heaviest of them all..my sins..the Cross..ngayon..sa akin Niya ipinapasa..to carry my own cross everyday..kahit na mahirap..my work for the Almighty Lord shall not be in vain..kaya thankful ako at nakakapagserve ako sa Kanya..even in hardships..even with the pressure..even with the darts of the enemy flying towards me..i have a great God..

dami kong pinagdaanan sa year na ito na hindi ko na kayang isulat o i-type dito sa blog ko na ito..There have been so many memories..So many laughing moments..aches (physically, emotionally, spiritually), pains, burdens..meron din niyan..dami kong naramdaman na alam kong in one way or another e ginamit ni Lord para i-build sa akin ang isang steadfast spirit, sturdy body, sharp mind, at strong will..

I pray that as the year 2007 opens, mas may mga challenges na makakapagpalakas pa sakin..i know that i'm going to need every ounce of training galing kay Lord..for the years ahead..for the people I'm gonna meet..the people I've met..the people I know that will need me..for the people I will be needing.. I also pray na mas humusay ako sa mga fields na involved ako..sa paggamit ko ng mga kamay ko sa instruments..sa paggamit ko sa boses ko sa pagkanta..sa paggamit ko sa mga tenga ko para makinig..sa paggamit ko sa heart ko para makiramdam..sa paggamit ko sa kabuuan ng sarili ko para kay Lord..Another year ng takbuhin..I may not know what will happen..But I do know na protektado na ako ni Lord..I just have to sumbit..

I thank everyone whom God has used to bring me to a higher level of maturity, spiritually, physically and emotionally..I've learned a lot..I've learned to wait for a lot of things and a lot of people..I am thankful sa mom ko na kahit na ang nasa isip ko e hindi niya 'ko kinakampihan, e andito parin siya sa likod ko..gusto lang pala talaga niya na magkaroon ako ng strong back..gusto lang pala niya talaga ako protektahan mula sa mga maling pananaw ko..KAKAMPI KO NGA TALAGA SIYA..thank God para sa mga ATE ko sa Youth Aflame na patuloy na nasa likod ko..na patuloy na sumusuporta sakin..mga patuloy na nagrerebuke sakin..with love, syempre..thankful ako sa bestfriend ko na kahit hindi ko nakakasama at nakakausap masyado e alam ko sa pagitan naming dalawa ay matibay at maganda pa rin ang bond of bestfriendship namin..i will always cherish our bestfriendship, tol..pramis ko yan sa iyo..kahit may mga awayan, solid parin kami niyan..thankful ako sa barkadahan namin sa YR..nagiging masaya ang buhay pag kami ang magkakasama..sa music team..sa biruan..at sa kung saan pa..thankful ako sa mga friends ko sa section namin..kahit makukulit, marunong paring makisama at alam lumugar, pati mga malalaki na tulong sa studies..dami pa akong hindi namemention..pero thankful ako sa inyong lahat..you've given me a lot of ispiration..

Reader, eto yung ilan sa mga experiences ko..naging masakit at masaya ang buhay ko..naging malago din sana..at sana ang mga testimonies ko dito ay maging encouragement, kahit na may ilang mga downers..I know, I know..hindi ko talaga maiwasan..pero that's how I let go..it can really be hard..pero I believe I have done it, somehow, through this blog..Thank You for the time you have given para lang basahin ang mga ibinuhos ko dito..Happy New Year, friend..!God Bless You, Reader.

....

2006-12-05T13:02:00.000+08:00

Quote galing sa Philosophy prof ko (di ko lang alam kung sino talaga ang gumawa):

"When I'm right, no one remembers..When I'm wrong, no one forgets.."

or something like that..

ganyan nga kaya ang buhay ko ngayon..? it seems as though naga-apply sa akin 'to..pero ayoko i-claim kasi lalo lang akong magkakaroon ng problema..mahirap na nga yung pinagdadaanan ko dadagdagan ko pa..

buti nalang may mga nakikinig parin..thanks a lot sa mga tao na un..

(Hingang malalim)..ok..it's time to set things straight..yata..pero i know it's gonna take a while..kaya..better start now..

pero hindi naman lahat ng nangyayari sakin e negative..i'm still thankful that i'm able to write/type this..I'm thankful for a lot of things the good Lord has given, and is going to give, of course..lalo na ung binibigay Niya na ever-abounding GRACE..yan ang numero uno sakin ni Lord..mula sa mga simpleng itinuturo Niya hanggang sa taong nabunot ko sa KrisKringle namin..(ayan naitama na ung spelling)..THANK YOU LORD!!! He never ceases to amaze me..hindi ko lang talaga minsan napapansin..

Bakit ganun? I feel excited for the concert, pero meron parin talagang kaba..na may kahalong ewan ko na..ang hirap ng ganito..sa totoo lang po..ansakit na ng lalamunan ko sa mga practices.. namamalat na ko..Lord help..!!

Practices for school..isa sa mga nagiging pabigat sakin..in a way..kasi ako ang kinilalang leader..samantalang ako lang naman ang nagsulat ng mga pangalan namin sa papel..tapos may naaasar na kasi andaming leader..waaaaaa..ako ba ang may kasalanan nito? sabi na nga ba dapat nanahimik nalang ako e..dagdag na struggle..

nakakainggit minsan pag nakakarinig ako ng mga stories sa buhay ng iba na parang sobrang lalim na kay Lord..pero ako..ewan ko sa sarili ko minsan..bakit ganun..? Lord..bakit po?.. (-.-)

Parang walang sense ung mga pinaglalalagay ko dito..iba iba ung mga istorya..anyways..

Despite all these struggles, weights, aches and pains, the Lord's grace abounds..di ko makakalimutan yun..pati na rin ung natanggap ko for ChrisKringle (tama ba o mali..ewan ko na)..Phil 4:13.."I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength." Amen to that..

Dami ko pa sana gusto sabihin kaso daming kelangang gawin e..dito ko na muna tatapusin..antabayanan ang susunod na kabanata..hehe..God Bless You, reader..

Whys..

2006-12-05T12:37:00.000+08:00

Ewan ko ba kung baket andami kong iniisip ngayon..mga problema....that's right..MGA problema..buti sana kung mababaw lang e..kaso ang hirap din sabihin AT gawin ung sinasabi na forgive and forget nalang..

sabi sakin dati..just fight it..kasi kung 'di mo gagawin..pano nalang, diba..sayang..well..oo nga..sayang talaga..no doubt about that..pero..hanggang kelan ako magtitiis..? hanggang sa makita ng tao sa paligid na bagsak na 'ko at iginagapang ko nalang ang sarili ko?! e kelan pa kaya yun..

waw..senti ako..

sa akin lang naman..hindi sila ung napapagod..ako..ako ung nauubusan ng hininga sa walang puknat na utos, tawag, at iba pa..I'm not asking na mag-thank you sila sakin..sana lang naman..maintindihan nila ung pinapagawa nila..mukha mang madali..pag pinagsama-sama mo..aba..sobra na..SANA LANG NAMAN..

exhausted for the last few days..yan ako..rigudon ng kung anu-ano..takbo dito, takbo dun..salita dito, salita doon..but the sad thing is..they don't listen..very few people ever do that, nowadays..based on experience..it's always me who has to listen to them..and do what they say..hey..i have a brain too..i have my own opinions..but still..ayaw..ok fine..have it your way..but don't blame me kung mali kayo ha..i'm not saying ako ung tama..

I J U S T W A N T T O B E H E A R D...kahit minsan lang naman..hindi ko hinihiling na gawin nyo ung sinasabi ko..makinig lang kayo..that's why God gave us two ears and one mouth..who gave you the right to have two of each? tapos ako walang say..............................................hingang malalim................................ok fine..sige.. have it y0ur way..again..

Lord, sori po talaga..i'm at the end of my rope..di ko na talaga alam kung ano gagawin ko..andami nang lumalabas sa bibig ko na 'di naman dapat..ubos na ung pasensya na binigay Niyo sakin..kung pwede lang po talaga..one more ounce..and then another..and then another..hanggang sa matuto na ako..at long last..thank you po..Thank you na rin po at nagprovide kayo ng finances for our family..thank you na din po at kahit papaano ay nakapagpahinga ako, although kulang parin..salamat na rin po sa mababait at mapagmalasakit na mga classmates..ganun din po sa iilang tao na handang makinig sa mga sinasabi ko..kahit tama o mali..thank you for everything..Glory to You alone..

Reader, I'm not saying na sana ma-bless ka sa pinaglalalagay ko dito..I just want the Lord to bless you..so..God Bless You, Reader..

2006-10-31T04:06:00.000+08:00

tagal ko na palang hindi nakakapag-post dito..sa dinami-dami ng mga ginagawa kong kung anu-ano, 'di ko pa naisingit 'to..hehe..buti nalang may nagpapaalala..hehe..

Andaming nangyari the past few weeks..for one, ung Hitting the Mark Seminar ni Lolo Bailey (close kami e)..it really posed a challenge to go on to maturity and help those who are young in the faith..andami ko din natutunan at na-realize na dapat pala talagang baguhin sa sarili ko..although napakahirap, inuunti-unti na ni Lord..

isang example nalang e itong nakalipas na enrolment namin..the Lord really taught me about patience..tulad nga nung butterfly na dapat hintayin mo talaga siya na lumabas, etc..sa patience, and everything else, kelangang hayaan natin si Lord na i-work out satin ung mga dapat na baguhin sa atin..Kasi pag sinubukan natin na takasan o layuan ung problema, hindi nabubuo ung perfect will ni Lord sa atin..

kaya pala nung enrolment e pinagtagal ako ni Lord - kasi pala gusto Niyang matutunan ko ung patience through that trial..mula 11:50 hanggang 4:00 pm nasa skul ako..para lang maayos lahat nung bayarin..But for me it's worth the wait..dami nmn ako natutunan..

as the Potter shapes the clay into a vessel, He continues to destroy it and remodel it so that it can become a better and better vessel until the Potter is satisfied with His work..I believe na ito ung mga words na appropriate para sa naging experience ko..

O nga pala, kagabi, Oct. 30, '06, 1st Year Anniv. ng YR Leaders' e GMeeting..at pagkasaya-saya namin dun..again..i thank the Lord for His faithfulness and His presence sa bawat isa..it could never have been if it were not for Him..

All things work together for the good of those who love Him..

Kaya keep believing..God is in control..even when we think things are goin' the wrong way..Thank You for reading..God Bless You, Reader..

Senti sa Jeep..

2006-10-12T00:20:00.001+08:00

Ala lang..ang kulit lng nung mga bagay na na-realize ko nung pauwi na ako..I don't quite remember kung kahapon o last week..basta..I enjoyed realizing those things that make life as it is..simple and very common pero sakin, chaka ko lang na-realize na totoo nga talaga..

Life is short..kaya make the most out of it..

Don't think highly of yourself. Don't say to yourself that you're better than others..If they think the same, then whose better than who? Consider them to be higher than you, at most..But that's no reason to say that you should put yourself at the bottom of the list..It doesn't mean that you should pity yourself for having to think that everyone around is you better than you..You weren't made to stay at the bottom of the pile..

You were made uniquely..So you're different from them..and so why compare?..just learn to respect others, because most others(if not all), will respect you the way you do them..

Find your place - no one's gonna take it anyway..it's made specially for you..just make sure that you occupy it and not waste it on worthless stuff..

Keep focused on your purpose..it produces passion...Be sensitive enough..but not too much - you tend to be annoying that way, believe me..

Get pre-occupied with stuff..just don't include too much of one aspect..it tends to grow bigger and swallow you until you find yourself stuck..i was lucky to come out still "alive.."

I just realized, the more I type, the less time I have to stop and listen - and rest of course..

Hehe..I still have my exams, at di pa ko nakakapag-aral..hehe..but it's ok..sanay na rin ako e..But I make sure that even before the proctor comes into the room, naka-pray na ko..

And I thank God for the exams kung saan tinulungan niya ko..and sa mga susunod pa..

I don't expect you to be inspired by those words sa itaas pero, it's always up to you..God Bless You, Reader..

Senti sa Jeep..

2006-10-12T00:20:00.000+08:00

2006-10-05T12:43:00.000+08:00

Waaa..nakakatoxic na talaga ang skul..hehe..now I know how they felt nung yung mga ate at kuya jan ung nag-aaral pa..

kaya nga antagal ko nang hindi nakakagawa ng post dito sa blog ko..buti nalang may mga nagpapaalala parin..sa totoo lang, i'm just lucky enough na maisingit ito sa aking tight sked..lalo na ngayon at lapit na ang finals..

As usual..problemado ako..hindi lang dahil sa mga studies, pati na rin sa PE..ako ginawang leader, so todo alala..waaa..antagal matapos ng 1st sem namin!!

Pero despite the hardships, I've learned a lot..I still God kasi He's really working sa buhay ko..sa daming problema, it's virtually impossible na hindi si God ang gumagawa niyan..Lately, binabasa ko ang PDL..actually mula pa nung September un..September 1, to be exact..sinimulan ko nun at salamat kay Lord at tuloy parin ako hanggang ngayon..

And sure enough, andami kong natutunan na I really do have a purpose..Kahit na maraming struggles, part yun ng service ko sa kanya..dun na rin ni Lord bine-break yung pride ko and dun na rin Niya lalong hinahabaan ung patience ko..pati na rin ung pakikitungo ko sa ibang tao..

Whew..it's been a very difficult semester..but I know that "His plans are higher than mine.."

That's why I still continue this service..because in the end..it's all gonna be worth it..please pray for me parin po..God Bless You, Reader..

Weddings, Birthdays, and more..

2006-08-28T09:09:00.000+08:00

Whew! what a day..actually last Sunday pa un..parang ang bilis lang..but I still lived the 24 hours of that day..ano kinaiba? ung mga events syempre..first off, yung sermon ni Ptr. Edwin really struck me..sobrang timely kaya naman i can't forget those words: NEVER GIVE UP..kasi totoo naman e..kahit na Christian ka, it never means that you won't fail because you have God on your side..rather, it means that as a Christian, there should never be space for giving up..there never should be..because a lot of people, yes, even Christians, give up because they gave space for it..and I'm glad I heard that message before I thought of giving up because of the so many responsibilities I handle in school, at Church, at home..so many responsibilities and burdens that I feel so burnt out..pero ngayon i've found another reason for me to go on..

After the service, kinausap kami due to some schedule conflicts na gusto na nila ma-settle..and as usual..i have to stand up for my commitment..i have no more room for giving up..kaya sige parin kami..

Next, aba, masarap ang ulam namin sa bahay! chiken chaka braised beef yata un..hehe..basta masarap e..kasama namin sila kuya Jeff and company..hehe..ang saya namin! Tapos bihis na para sa kasal ni kuya Carlo & ate Elaine..syempre magulo nanaman..at meron pa kaming mini salon sa bahay..may mga taga-ayos pa sila mami pati kuya Mao..hehe..syempre, ninang chaka abay sila e..ako nmn photographer kaya, medyo mas simple..hehe..

Nung kasal na yon ko lang na-experience na maging "official" photographer..aba may tatlong camera ka ba naman na nakasukbit sayo e..ung isa nasa bulsa, tapos ung 2 natitira, nasa magkabilang kamay..adik e no?! buti nalang meron dun PRO na photographer kaya medyo sabay nalang si ako..hehe..

Ang ganda nung kasalan e..nakakatuwa..syempre ganun talaga pag kilala mo ung mga tao na ikakasal..kaya lalo kong aabangan ung GOLDEN WEDDING of da year..hopefully..hehe.. nakakapagod din kahit papaano..pero it's all worth it..after all..ang kasal ng 1 couple e once lang naman nangyayari sa tanambuhay nila e..and then comes a slightly serious topic galing kay Ate Di..hehe..di ko na ilalagay dito..nakalagay na sa blog niya e..hehe..about emotions and stuff..so I said to myself..dapat simulan ko na talaga ang pag-guard sa ganyang bagay..i'm not innocent with the subject anymore, anyways..

And off I go again..balik sa aking weekly routine..pero it seems as though God wanted to tell me something last Monday..the Lord's word really hammered me down..Purity and Consecration before the Lord..in 1 John 2:15, the Lord said that we should not love this world and ANYTHING in it..It meant that personally, I should uphold God's standards in my life - not my own standards..always..kasi I have experienced setting my own standards, basing them on practicality and what I thought was OK with Christians.. thinking that if others agreed with me, then I was walking on the right track..hindi pala..If I was to really uphold His standards, dapat kung ano yung mali, mali..hindi yung ginagawan ng butas para makalusot yung mga crooked actions..with these, we cried out to God that night..it was a very different night for me..and I think that it has become another turning point in my life..

Kinabukasan, and the days after, I really struggled with myself..and with my classmates na naging challenge para sakin na pakisamahan ulit..for another week..syempre..hindi na ako basta basta..with every word and action namin..kelangan refined na talaga..and I thank God for helping me with that..kasi outside His standards for righteousness, mali na..and I've upheld that these past few days..whew!

Thursday night, I saw the PDL sa bookshelf namin..and I decided to start reading it..and interacting with it, syempre..

This 1st day of September, I'm setting things straight..isa nanamang commitment..but I intend to really stick with it..i want to start living a life with a REAL purpose..

Thanks for reading this "short" post..Hope you understood it..magulo ako minsan e..hehe..God Bless You, Reader..

The Sunday Treat..

2006-08-22T15:15:00.000+08:00

i miss the old days..yung dating mga youth namin sa kahit soooo kulit, ang saya kasama..yung mga retreat..swimming..camping..you gotta love those memories..ang saya nun..

Sana maulit muli..parang pelikula a..hehe..pero nung Sunday, August 20, 2006, as a treat sa mga committed members namin, nagkaroon kami ng isang special fellowship..Para lang talaga sa mga committed..just to unwind..to have fun..to bring back the good 'ol days ba..and what a night it was..

Ang sarap nung feeling na talagang pwede ako magpaka kulit nung gabi na yon..para bang ilalabas ko lang yung totoong ako..sa tagal ba naman na kailangang may restraint ka e..di mo ba mami-miss yon? Hehe..I sure did..and it was fun while it lasted..

Ang saya nung games..aba..elementary ito..chinese garter..a game for the girls..nanalo ang aanim na lalaki..namely: kuya arjun, kuya maui, kuya Jr, kuya Jeff, Kim, Ako..dinaan sa tumbling..dahil doon nanakit at nananakit parin ang katawan ko..hehe..next game: batuhang bola..ang saya talaga..and we won, again..hehe..it's our game e..may mga sumunod pa na games, pero, i'm leaving it at that..

So, after magpagod, kain muna, syempre! the special pancit ni kuya jeff ang aming kinain with matching tinapay and juice na naulanan pa ako para lang mabili..actually 3 kaming bumili nun..hehe..habang nagkakainan, nagtawag si kuya mike ng mga pwedeng mag-testify about their most unforgetful memories sa youth aflame..

And the "touching part" came..yung mga videos na pinagpuyatan pa ata ni kuya mao..para lang sa gabi na 'to..and suddenly, i felt the joy of being part of every activity flashed on the "big screen.." it then occurred to me, pano pa kaya kung lahat nung andun na tao andito ngayon? wouldn't that be more exciting?

Afterwards, the worship and the Lord's Word for us..that we keep pressing on, keep on running the race, and stay in the faith..for there shall be great a reward for those who remain faithful to Him..and that's what we want the youth to bear in mind and heart..to remain faithful and to finish the race..SAMA SAMA PARIN TAYO, Youth Aflame..we're old enough in spirit to undersand that..kaya ayun..

Thanks for reading..and please continue to pray for me and Youth Aflame..God Bless You, Reader..

Natapos na din..

2006-08-08T22:42:00.000+08:00

Whew..at long last natapos na din ang araw ko..natapos na din ang araw ko ng pagfa-facilitate for the Youth Leaders' Monday Meetings..talagang na-delay pa ng 2 weeks e..pero i really thank God for helping me deliver His message..Kahit na nakaka-kaba yung time na yun..

Here's some of what the Lord wanted me to share:

REVIVAL..It means times of refreshing and restoration..It means God came..But we cannot achieve it unless we cleanse ourselves of MIXTURE and most especially, SIN..Even with the trials that the Lord puts us in, He always has his promise that He will always have His mercy upon us, just as Justice is always coupled with Mercy..Even in the exhaustion, He will restore us..We just have to learn to wait and prepare for His Former and Latter rains of revival to come..

That's part of what the Lord wanted us to see for the coming Youth Revive..May these words bring a little encouragement to everyone..

Pray for me still..God Bless You, Reader..

2006-07-31T21:04:00.000+08:00

Haaay..malapit na examination week namin..tapos andaming kelangang aralin..waaaa..toxic, as they say..nosebleed daw yun..puro mga terminologies na wala sa aking bokubularyo..Pinipiga na ang aking utak sa daming mga aasikasuhin..sa mga problema sa skul, sa bahay, sa mga ibang commitments ko..

Well, wala na 'ko pwedeng gawin kundi mag-pray..pinasok ko yun e..well, ung iba kelangan lang talaga kasi walang ibang gagawa nun kundi ako..Pero the pressure is really pressing down on me..

I need someone to talk to..buti nalang andyan si Lord..It's funny pero I enjoy reading the Campus Journal..kahit na noon noon pa yung issue na yun..I suddenly find myself laughing dahil sa may na-realize ako na isang mahalagang bagay - Andyan parin talaga si Lord na gumagabay sakin..Kahit na akala andaming problema..He's still there..

Even with these struggles, I choose to still live this life..Kahit na mabigat na..Sige parin..It's part of my responsibility..

Pero please..pray for me parin..God Bless You Reader..

2006-07-17T09:38:00.000+08:00

Whew..nakakaburn out na..andaming pinapagawa sakin..I'm lucky to be still standing..I mean sitting here and typing this post..

Simula nung Monday, July 3 I think, i felt so weak. Physically, that is..Very unusual kasi kakagising ko palang pero parang I'm gasping for air..Ewan ko kung bakit..As the day progressed, I began to feel na pati ata ung spirit ko bumabagsak na din..I'm failing, I said to myself..Hotheaded, impatient..Top 2 sa aking mga negatives..Aba nagpaparamdam..

At about 7pm, punta muna ICACF for the regular Youth Leaders' Meeting..And then it struck me, and it struck me hard..ptr. Gener shared something about us going into a state of weakness and that we should be prepared..actually un din ung topic na shinare ni Dyan..siya ung facilitator e..pero mas napa-isip ako dun sa mga sinabi ni Ptr. Gener..ung umaandar sa utak ko parang ganito: "that sunk deep..boy is he right about that.." Sabi ni Ptr Gener pati na rin sina Ta Oss, we should prepare for those days para ready parin.. Looks like the enemy sent me an advanced party to attack..And guess what..i was caught off guard..

Mula nun, medyo nagkaloko-loko ako..hanggang ngayon..and i've been continuously seeing weakness around me..pero I'm still thankful kasi nakakabangon na ko ngayon..a little more effort at malalagpasan ko na..pero masaya ako sa ganitong state..Kasi alam ko na God is still on my side kasi may trials e..

And when there are trials, that means He's still working in me..

Pero I'll still need those prayers coz they're a BIG help.. thank you very much..God Bless You Reader..

2006-06-26T08:22:00.000+08:00

Yehey!! Another answered prayer para sakin!! Thank You Lord..
2nd year na ako..tapos di pa ko nakakakuha ng NSTP..so that means dapat kunin ko na..buti nalang dami ako mga kasama..hehe..kaso ang problema..Most skeds ng NSTP-CWTS Sundays..tapos umaga..kaya inde ako makaka-punta ng church..FOR A WHOLE YEAR HALOS!! ayoko naman yata nun..

I've been praying for it..ngayon nakuha ko rin..For this 1st semester, online lang ang CWTS..so that means makaka-attend ako ng church..makakapag-serve ako sa church..ok lang kahit kailangang mag-online ng halos araw-araw (ganun kasi yung patakaran e..kahit weekdays meron ka ginagawa)..basta nakakapag-serve ako kay Lord..and that's a lot more important..

Sa 2nd sem..di ko lang alam..pero sa tingin ko pang-hapon naman yung sa amin..kaya..hapi hapi parin..

That's why i really believe that if we continue to ask the Lord, He'll be more than happy to give it to us kung kinakailangan..

""Keep on asking, and you will be given what you ask for. Keep on looking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened. For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And the door is opened to everyone who knocks." Matthew 7:7-8

Ito talaga ang nangungusap sakin ngayon..and i'm thankful for that too..

Salamat po sa mga nanalangin para sa akin..May the Good Lord bless You more than what you expect..

God Bless You Reader..

Just Before Classes Start..

2006-06-13T22:24:00.000+08:00

haay..ayan nanaman..balik nanaman sa skul..isa nanamang taon ng "torture"..hehe..pero so far i've enjoyed my summer vacation..andaming nangyari..halos araw-araw busy ako dahil sa kung anu-anong mga agenda na biglang nasisingit nalang..

Kahit medyo exhausting, ok lang..at least alam ko na marami akong na-accomplish sa bakasyon..Nakasama ako sa summer camp..sa mission trip..sa YouthRevive Special..kakatapos lang ng aming 27th Church anniversary (masaya din kahit papaano..hehe..)..at recently..

Pumunta kami sa Mall of Asia!! hehe..pero bago yun..pinagod muna kami sa bahay..kasi biglang naglipat ng kung anu-anong gamit si mami..nagbaba ng computer table, naglinis ng bodega, naglabas-masok ng filing cabinet na pagkabigat-bigat..kahit kaka-kain palang..parang ubos agad yung lakas ko..pero nung sinabi na magbihis na para makaalis..kala mo nakainom kami ng 3 baso ng innergize..mabilis pa sa alas siete..hehe..Kasama namin sila kuya arjun at ate licette..hehe..kaya may driver kami..chaka isa pa na mag-aalaga sa dalawang bata na kasama namin..hehe..ginawang yaya e no?!.. Derecho kami sa Mall of Asia..grabe andaming tao!! at hindi lang tao..pati mga parking lots naguumapaw sa dami ng mga sasakyan dun..pero kahit na maraming tao, maluwag parin..sa entrance lang medyo matatagalan kasi andaming tao na pumapasok..

Wala naman kami masyado ginawa dun kundi bumili ng pagkain..hehe..tulad nga ng sabi ng iba, hindi pa maganda yung Mall kasi dami pa na mga shops na di pa nagbubukas..Pero ok lng..lakad parin..tapos may mga clown pa..hehe..mga mukhang ewan na kinatatakutan ng mga bata..pero in fairness ang galing..

Nang tamarin na kami, "dumaan" kami dun sa bahay nung klasmeyt nila dad dati..ang yaman nila grabe un..may apat ata na kotse, sariling billiard table, naka-aircon yung loob ng bahay, flatscreen tv..hehe..tapos dami pagkain..hehe..dito kami talaga umupo para kumain..birthday pala kasi nung bunso nila na anak..kaya ayun..inimbitahan naman kami e kaya sige..sabak sa pagkain..tapos onting laro ng billiards..tapos..mga 8 or 9pm, uwi na..

Pero ang last stop namin bago kami magsi-uwi..Starbucks..hehe..ang saya namin dun sa loob..medyo nagtagal pa nga kami dahil sa kwentuhan chaka picturan namin dun..lakas trip lang talaga..hehe..habang hawak ang aming mga inumin..isang snapshot muna..hehe..nang magka-ayaan na umuwi..edi sige..

In short, na-enjoy ko yung bakasyon..hindi lang dahil marami akong mga naging "adventure," nakita ko rin na nagwo-work ang Lord sa buhay ko..mapabakasyon man o pasukan..In different situations, gumagawa Siya ng paraan para mapalakas ang spirit ko..Kaya sa tingin ko naman e nag-grow din ako spiritually..Andami ko rin kasi nakita na mga trials na ibinagsak ko..pero meron din naman na mukhang naipasa ko..kaya i'm very thankful kasi alam ko na the Lord is still at work in my life..

Sa tingin ko, yung mga pinagdaanan ko ngayong bakasyon, magagamit ko na foundation sa darating na pasukan..I pray na malagpasan ko lahat ng mga pagsubok na haharapin ko ngayong 2nd year..It may be hard, but i know with God, anything and everything is possible..

Sana ay ma-enjoy ko ang taon na ito..with the Lord's help, i'll be a good example sa mga classmates ko, and hopefully, madala ko ang ilan sa kanila sa Panginoon..

Please pray for me..God Bless You Reader..

Nanaman??!!

2006-05-26T09:40:00.000+08:00

Isa nanamang masaklap na linggo ang sumalubong saken..Pang ilan na ba 'to? Kelan ba titigil? Kelan ko ba mararanasan yung buhay na wala akong iniisip na dapat asikasuhin, kausapin at lahat-lahat? Nababaon na ko..sa totoo lang..

Andaming problema ng buhay..ngayon ko lang siguro na-realize..bagal ng utak ko men!! dati kasi, ok ok naman..la masyado asikaso..upo lang sa bahay..kinig ng music..kain..tulog..ligo..routine ko sa halos araw-araw..DATI..e ngayon..asa ka pa boy..la na nga yung bumness..la na din yung pahinga ko..puro naman asikaso ng kung anu-ano..

Loaded sa mga bagay na dapat pag-isipan ng mabuti..na dapat baguhin..na dapat ma-desisyunan..Loaded din sa mga tao na dapat kausapin para malaman kung ano ang nararapat na gawin..para naman gumaan ang dinadala ko na bigat..Mahirap pala ang mabuhay ng katulad nila.. Kaso andun na ko e..yun yung pinili ko..Hindi ko na pwedeng atrasan..Kelangan ko nalang talagang harapin kasi kung hindi, ako ang babagsak Big Time..for sure..Ngayon alam ko na basically kung ano ang takbo ng buhay nila..Hindi pala madali..Hindi pala puro sarap..Mas marami pala ang hirap..

Pero bakit ganun? Sila kaya nilang dalhin yung problema..Kahit anong laki, carry pa rin nila..Samantalang ako..Kaya naman..pero mukhang tutumba na..I need help LORD!!

Siguro nga kaya ako nailagay dito kasi alam Niya na kakayanin ko..kulang lang sa confidence..Yun siguro yung kailangan ko talaga..Pero kung titingnan mo din..Hindi simple ang buhay..

Ang hirap manghula ng dapat na ikilos mo..Kasi pag nagkamali ka..sunud-sunod na..Mahirap na ibalik sa dati..Buti nalang hindi ako nag-iisa..May mga tao din pala na katulad ko..Iba't ibang sitwasyon..Pero kapareho ng kinalalagyan..At least may nakakaintindi sa sitwasyon ko..At naiintindihan ko din naman sila..

Malalagpasan ko din 'to..Marami mang kelangang i-sacrifice..Yun nga lang..talagang masakit..Sana lang maging mas maganda yung kapalit..

Kay Lord nalang talaga ako naka-asa..Kung wala Siya..talo na talaga ako..Siya nalang talaga ang masasandalan ko..wala na ko ibang kukuhanan ng lakas kundi sa Kanya pati sa Word Niya..Sana lang nasa tama ang spirit ko..That's why i pray..Na maayos ang lahat..Pati sarili ko..

Pray for me..Hehe..God Bless You Reader..

Another Step of Faith

2006-05-13T09:08:00.000+08:00

It's been a very unusual week for me..Andaming nangyari..pero kahit ganun..naramdaman ko parin ung boredom ng summer..Hehe..Ngayon lang yun ata nangyari sa buong buhay ko..Yun bang nakaupo ka lang..Tapos sira ang TV..walang pera kasi wala namang klase..la pang SM..hehe..gusto ko man kumain..walang laman ang ref kundi tubig, yelo, gamot, at mga kung anu-ano na di pwede kainin ng basta-basta..

Pero there's one thing na i'm very thankful of..I am giving all the glory to God for what I have received this past week..Please note that this is a testimony of the Lord's goodness and not my way of boasting..

Monday..just a typical summer day..gising ako ng late..9 am (late na ba yun?)..the usual things you do pagkagising..basa ng Bible..pray..hilamos..mumog..kain..etc..punta sa church..baka may ipapagawa..uwi..listen to music..ligo..pahinga..tapos bandang 6pm..bilis ng araw e no..or was it 5:30..basta around those times..nasa church ulit ako..planning to play a few rounds ng table tennis..

I was aware na may Youth Leader's meeting..kaya medyo abang na ko na kumuha ng tubig nila kapag lumabas si kuya Mao..hehe..tapos dumating ang mga Welfareville boys..unusual un pero sige..at least may mga dagdag na makakausap..

And here comes kuya Mao..ops..teka lang..tubig na yan..pero nagulat ako nung sinabi na josh tawag ka nila dun..or something like that na pupunta ako sa conference room..dun kasi sila nagmi-meeting e..aba..kelangan pang aprubahan ng lahat ng leaders na pakukuhanin ako ng tubig..sige..pasok naman ako..aba..may welcome pa ang water boy..at pinaupo pa..ayos a..tapos biglang serious..tinanong ako nila kuya mike kung tinatanggap ko ba ung position for servant-leader-in-training..basta parang ganun..so ako..oo naman..pero not because nasa isip ko na AYAN GINAGAWA KA NANG SERVANT-LEADER!!!!..but because naisip ko na eto na yung opportunity ko para mag-grow pa..spiritually..sabi nga ni kuya Arjun na hindi nila ako kinukuha because of the need..ayaw daw niya yun na kumukuha lang ng leaders dahil sa kailangan..dahil sa lumalaki na yung kailangang i-handle na youth sa church..pero dahil nakita nila yung faithfulness sa akin..i thank the Lord for giving me that faithfulness..

taking up responsibility is not an easy task..mas maraming kelangang gawin..mas maraming pag-iisipan..mas mahabang patience(which by the way di ko pa nadedevelop)..kahit na alam mo kung sino yung dapat mo i-deal..but i know with God's help, makakatulong din ako sa mga Leaders at sa iba pa na youth sa church..

Hindi ako ilalagay siguro ni Lord dito kung hindi ko kaya yung "workload"..Hindi rin siguro ako kukuhanin as servant-leader kung hindi nila nakita sakin yung dapat na meron ang isang leader..So i pray na maging blessing ako sa lahat ng mga makakasama ko at maging tulong yung mga gagawin ko..Kahit na this past week maraming trials ang ibinagsak ko, alam ko dun ako gusto ni Lord na mag-improve at dun Niya ako imo-mold into a better vessel..

Again..I thank the Lord and bless His name for everything He has given..May this testimony be a blessing to you to reader..

O nga pala, leadership does not necessarily mean that you're the one to be followed..It's you who must be the servant to those whom you lead..Thank you po sa nag-correct sakin about that..i nearly overlooked..God Bless You po.. :D

The Tongue Strikes Again..and Again..

2006-05-05T23:05:00.000+08:00

Isn't it annoying na minsan kung anu-ano nalang ang lumalabas sa bibig mo?! Nakaka-asar yung ganun na 'di ko maiwasang magsalita na hindi napapagalitan at nasisita dahil sa kalokohan na lumalabas sa bibig ko..

Sometimes i just wanna shut up..Kahit isang araw lang..tahimik ako..para naman matigil yung kalokohan ko..even for just a day..

Sadly, hindi pa nangyayari yun..ever..everytime I say to myself, "mananahimik na ko.." biglang may darating na situation wherein i can't stop myself from saying something..Parang gusto ko na lagi akong may "say" sa mga bagay-bagay..

It's such a difficult task for a person like me to keep quiet..I love silence but I can't help it kung lagi akong sumasabat sa kung kani-kaninong usapan..Kaya naturingan akong dakilang EPAL kasi i always want to say something..Kahit wala sa oras..wala sa lugar..

Ang nakakaasar pa lalo dun kapag ung mga banat ko e mga jokes..Minsan 'di ko napapansin sumasagot na pala ako sa mga tao na mas matanda sa 'kin..Uh oh..Isa nanamang mahaba-habang sermon galing sa mga taong kataas-taasan..Ouch nanaman..Isa nanamang negative sa aking character..And then bubulong-bulong ako matapos ma-sermonan..aik..Plus one sa aking mga bad deeds..Ganun katindi ang dila ko..Now you know a big part of me is bad..Seriously..
Kaya these past few days, andami kong nakuha na mga glances na talagang nakakabaon at mga sita na nakakahiya..

It's a most difficult task to change things na nakasanayan mo nang gawin..
to change your attitude..
your character..
your habits..

Changing such things is not easy..mahirap ipagpilitan yung mga bagay na un..Of course, mababago, pero it takes time..and i mean a lot of it..kung di mo pagtutuunan ng pansin, walang mangyayari sayo..that's what's been happening saken..Falling and failing due to my ignorance and pride..due to my stubbornness..due to my lack of focus on things that are most important..
Because of these things, di ko mabago ung style ko when it comes to talking..

It would ONLY be by the Lord's grace na mabago ko ang sarili ko..I know i'm gonna need a lot of help..a lot of prayers..and a lot of solitude..including a lot of self-control..

Hanggang dito muna..baka kung ano pa ma-type ko e..hehe..God Bless You Reader..

To Start With..

2006-05-04T05:57:00.000+08:00

Whoa..Hold on..what's this I'm doin'? Oh right..Blog ko nga pala. Experiments..haha..

Teka! pano nga ba ko napasubo sa ganitong bagay? Most people I know na may blog, mga gals..
Di naman siguro masama na ako meron..It's just that I've been planning to make one..I just didn't know when..How..Why..

Now I know the answers..It's simply because I want to share my life with other people..Good or bad, it all has to come out someday..Somehow..maybe this is how..the time..now..It's time I start livin'..What do I care kung may mga mag react..It's part of life..Part of mine, at least..

Keepin' this blog may not be that easy for someone as busy as me, pero what the heck..If I gotta sacrifice my time just to share God's goodness, then why not?

I hope my efforts will be a blessing to those who read this..God Bless You reader..